This Is Why We Speak Up: Caroline Miller’s Racism Toward Mahendra Patel

(CREDIT)

Racism is alive and well, and once again, it’s shown its ugly face in the form of Caroline Miller. Recently, a video is trending on social media of an incident involving Caroline Miller and Mahendra Patel has quickly drawn attention online for all the wrong reasons. Can you guess who's on the receiving end of this vitriolic behavior?

Mahendra Patel, a 56-year-old Gujarati Indian man and pillar of the community, who has lived in the United States since 1990, walked into a Walmart in Georgia on March 18, 2025, to purchase some Tylenol for his elderly mother. Little did he know that this encounter with a horrible woman would land him in jail for allegedly trying to abduct her son 3 days later. He walked by and asked her if she knew where the OTC medicine was located in the store. As she was seated in a motorized wheelchair, fully able-bodied, with her son in her lap, she almost dropped him. Mr. Patel reached out to help so the child wouldn't get hurt because he thought she was disabled. After Mr. Patel walked off, she proceeded to back up and ran over her older child's foot with the motorized wheelchair. Essentially, she was on the scooter because her kids wanted to try it, taking the opportunity away from someone who actually needed to use it. As he is walking out of the store after making his purchase, he sees her again, waving at her and letting her know that he found the Tylenol. 

The police used surveillance footage from when Mr. Patel was checking out to get his receipt details and used that information to find and arrest him. Mr. Patel wasn't even granted a preliminary hearing where his lawyer could provide evidence that contradicted Caroline's claims. Instead, they moved straight to indictment with no bond. His bond hearing was delayed to May 6th, 2025. So this poor man has been sitting in jail for over a month, even though there is evidence that proves he is innocent. People who live in Cobb County are sharing horror stories of the violent acts of aggression by the police/guards that go on in the Cobb County Adult Detention Center. It was recently reported that the death of a homeless woman, who had been held since January 2025, occurred while she was in custody at the same jail.

If he is convicted, he could get 25 years in jail. My heart breaks for him and his family. He will never be the same after this situation. I hope he sues the city, the jail, and Caroline. 

Now, this vile person below is Caroline Miller, the racist individual with a history of crying wolf. Back in 2019, she sued Lyft, claiming she was allegedly sexually assaulted by the driver. The "offender" just got a disorderly conduct charge, which makes me suspicious of her claims. I am in no way saying that it didn't happen; however, the court records don't line up. Unfortunately, if this is the case, women like her make it hard for women who are actual victims to be taken seriously and believed. 

In a news interview, you can see her persuasively asking her son, "Did someone try to take you from Mommy?", knowing damn well he doesn't have the cognitive functioning ability to truly understand what she is asking or implying. This is how hate and ignorance are bred, spewed, and repeated. Hate isn't born, it is taught by the likes of people like Caroline Miller. At this point, CPS should take her children away because she is a danger to them.

And white women wonder why no one really wants to befriend, engage, or deal with them. It could literally cost you your freedom and/or your life. I heard a quote that really resonated with the essence of white women, specifically MAGA women - "White women are the men of women." 

This isn’t just about one woman’s hateful actions; it's about the pattern of racial abuse that too many immigrants and people of color face in public spaces. Mahender Patel's experience echoes across the country, where casual racism often goes unchecked.

People are no longer staying silent, and that’s how accountability begins.

Moments like this highlight the urgent need for education, empathy, and real conversations about racism. Caroline Miller may have thought she could get away with spewing hate, but the internet doesn’t forget. And neither should we. This isn’t about “cancel culture.” It’s about consequences. It’s about calling out behavior that has no place in a respectful society.

To Mahendra Patel and to anyone who is part of the GLOBAL MAJORITY that has ever been the target of racial abuse, you deserve better. And to everyone else: silence is taking the side of complicity. Speak up when you see hate. Unfortunately, we as BIPOC have been in some variation of this type of situation. I know I would want someone to stand up for me if I were in a similar predicament, so I should do the same. 

Here are some ways you can support:

1. Share this post
2. Add your name to the Change.org petition the family put together
3. Reach out to the Cobb County District Attorney at 770-528-3080 (though they are ignoring calls)
4. Donate to the family's fundraiser
5. Contact the CEO of Insight Global, Bert Bean, about her unethical behavior (she deleted her LinkedIn profile)

What are your thoughts on the incident?

Until next time,

Sharon

The Struggle to Separate the Artist from the Art: A Deep-Dive into the Complexities of Judgment

(CREDIT)

In the age of social media, where celebrities are often both our idols and the subjects of intense public scrutiny, the question of whether we can or should separate the artist from their art extends beyond traditional art forms into the world of entertainment. Musicians, actors, athletes, and influencers all create public personas that blend their talents with their personal lives, and as a result, their art—or performances—become intertwined with their identity. But when those celebrities falter or their actions contradict our values, it raises the inevitable question: Can we continue to enjoy their work without endorsing their behavior?

The debate over whether it’s possible—or even ethical—to separate the celebrity from their work is more nuanced than ever. We’re not just talking about their roles in movies or albums; this dilemma applies to influencers' social media posts, sports figures’ public stances, and even the way we perceive a celebrity’s private life in relation to their professional output. With celebrities under a constant spotlight, it’s increasingly difficult to appreciate their talents without acknowledging their personal flaws, controversial actions, or even their politics. This question is not new but is being asked with increasing frequency in today’s society. The debate over whether we can – or should – separate the artist from the art touches on deep ethical considerations, personal values, and the power of artistic creation.

Celebrities are often seen as larger-than-life figures, with their work serving as an extension of their personal brand. Much like artists, their fame and public image often merge with their creative output. This is especially true for actors, musicians, and athletes, whose personal lives are closely followed by fans and media alike. Whether through the characters they portray, the music they create, or their philanthropic endeavors, celebrities often share intimate pieces of themselves with the public.

The allure of the artist’s persona is undeniable. In many cases, the creator’s identity becomes inseparable from their work, often fueling or even enhancing its allure. Consider how much of an artist’s public life—whether it’s their political activism, personal struggles, or scandals—becomes intertwined with their output. When an artist is revered, their work often takes on additional layers of meaning, shaped by their life’s story.

This interplay between image and art becomes even more complicated when a celebrity is caught in scandal or accused of harmful behavior. Suddenly, the fan who once idolized an actor, singer, or influencer might feel as if they have to choose between their admiration for the work and their personal ethics. Should we keep supporting them, or does the support of their art feel like an endorsement of their behavior?

One of the key reasons it's difficult to separate the artist from the art is the issue of accountability. When an artist’s actions or words contradict the values we hold dear, consuming their art can feel like an endorsement of their behavior. This is particularly evident in the case of artists who have been accused of harming others, whether it be through abuse, exploitation, or discriminatory views.
In these instances, it’s not just about the moral dilemma of engaging with their work, but also the social responsibility we feel to not perpetuate harmful behaviors. We might ask ourselves: by continuing to consume art from controversial figures, are we excusing their actions or giving them a platform? The tension between personal enjoyment and social responsibility can create a deep internal conflict.

The rise of "cancel culture" has made the artist-celebrity dilemma even more immediate. In a digital age where everything a celebrity does or says is magnified and immortalized online, the notion of separating the celebrity from their art becomes less viable. When a celebrity faces accusations of misconduct, whether it be through #MeToo allegations, racist remarks, or unethical actions, fans and critics alike are quick to react. Some argue that we have a responsibility to hold celebrities accountable for their actions and stop supporting them financially and emotionally. Others contend that we should separate the work from the personal life, not allowing their flaws to eclipse their achievements.

The case of R. Kelly serves as a prominent example. His musical contributions, which had once made him one of the most influential artists in the R&B world, are now largely overshadowed by his conviction for sexual abuse and exploitation. For many fans, listening to his music feels wrong, as it now brings the weight of his criminal behavior along with it. Yet, there are still those who continue to listen to his songs, either because they believe in the value of his music or because they believe that the art itself should remain unaffected by the artist’s personal life. 

From an ethical standpoint, I for one no longer listen to R. Kelly, among many other artists/abusers. Supporting a rapist and pedophile, regardless of his talent, is complicitness of their actions, period. He is still benefiting by monetizing off "fans" who would rather listen to a good beat than support the dozens of Black girls and women abused by him. The money he made directly from his art and his fans is what allowed him to fund his abuser lifestyle. Not to mention, it was hush money to pay off the families of the girls/women he abused to keep his preferences private and out of the litigation. Being a woman, having dealt with abusive and toxic men, and having daughters of my own are my guiding post on whose artistry I choose to engage with. While those weren't my daughters who were abused and assaulted by him, they were someone else's child(ren). Me being in that specific situation shouldn't be the only reason why I stop supporting vile and disgusting human beings. It's called emotional intelligence, empathy, and critical thinking. 

Take for example the current situation with Justin Baldoni suing the New York Times for the way they reported the news regarding the sexual harassment Blake Lively allegedly experienced on the set of It Ends With Us. When her complaint came out, so many women rushed to believe and stand with her without hearing Justin Baldoni's side. I'm not going to lie, when I heard of her claims, I was disappointed, but my intuition told me something didn't feel right. I love the work Justin Baldoni has been doing with getting men to talk about their feelings, their struggles, going to therapy, and hosting a podcast, The Man Enough Podcast, deconstructing masculinity and the negative implications of patriarchy on men. When his lawsuit came out, it began to make more sense. The 87 page document  provided incriminating evidence that contradicted BL's claims and how she basically danced around the truth and provided detailed accounts where she took things out of context to make it appear as though she was the victim in the situation and not the aggressor. She essentially alienated JB from the rest of the cast, blocked him from participating in interviews with the cast, among many other things. Many claim that is was a hostile takeover because she wanted producer credits and the rights to the sequel without JB's involvement. Her narcissistic and calculated methods turned JB's passion project for the last 6 years into a nightmare. Don't get me started on Colleen Hoover and wanting to be buddy buddy with Hollywood "royalty" and the controversies surrounding her books. What I do know is that I never heard anyone talk ill of JB; but I have heard of BL's mean girl vibes since her start on Gossip Girl. When this all came out, her role in A Simple Favor seems more in line with who she is in real life. Again, I don't personally know her, but these are based on how she presents herself to the general public and reading between the lines of the things she says in interviews. I mean, she and Ryan Reynolds did get married on a plantation. That in itself should speak volumes about them. For the record, no one should be getting married on plantations.

The criteria is still the same regardless of it's a musician, celebrity, athlete, or anyone in the public eye. I'm not perfect by any means and know that I can't 100% eliminate the art from my life, but I do make a conscious effort to opt out of listening or watching. There are situations that I can't control, like out in public, at get togethers, and/or other people's homes. And that is precisely why I keep a pair of charged earbuds with me so that I can just pop them in my ears and  listen to a book. Shoutout to Libby!

So, is it possible to completely separate the artist from the art? The short answer is: probably not.While it may be tempting to say, "I can just enjoy the art without endorsing the artist," this becomes more complicated when money is involved. Celebrities are often financially rewarded for their work, and continuing to engage with their art—whether through album sales, ticket purchases, or even streaming platforms—translates to supporting them directly. For some, this feels like complicity. Can we, in good conscience, continue to financially support a celebrity whose actions contradict our ethical beliefs? Or should we view art as a separate entity, unaffected by the moral character of the person who created it? Our connection to art is deeply emotional, and when an artist’s personal life or behavior enters the conversation, it can irreversibly affect how we perceive their work. Yet, the act of disconnection can also serve as a form of resistance. By acknowledging the artist's flaws, we engage in a more complex conversation about the nature of art, creativity, and society itself.

It’s important to acknowledge that there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Some may find it easier to appreciate a work despite knowing its creator's flaws, while others may choose to abandon the art entirely, unable to reconcile the two. The answer to this question is ultimately personal, shaped by our own values, experiences, and tolerance for nuance. It requires self-reflection and an understanding of what we value in both art and the artists who create it.

To reiterate as we move forward, we must ask ourselves: 

Can we appreciate art and performance for what they are, or is it impossible to overlook the human behind the work?

Until next time...

Sharon 

P.S. One thing I will continue to look forward to in 2025 and beyond is the downfall of Hollywood, politicians, and the rich. People are waking up, educating themselves, and realizing that the math isn't mathing. When the masses get fed up and realize there are more of us than them, we can demand changes. Don't believe me, just watch Disney's A Bug's Life. The movie is a metaphor for the power structure/dynamic between the haves and the have-nots, symbolic of how our society operates.

Weaponized Incompetence: Avoiding Labor, Not Lacking Knowledge

(CREDIT)

Thanksgiving is just around the corner—a time for gratitude, togetherness, and, let’s be honest, a whole lot of work. From meal planning to grocery shopping, cleaning, hosting, and entertaining, the holiday often demands an enormous amount of labor, much of which unfairly falls on one person (hint: it’s usually the woman of the house).

But what happens when your partner conveniently claims they “don’t know how to baste a turkey” or “aren’t good at setting the table,” leaving you to pick up the slack while they sit and relax, watching football, or hang with the other men, impatiently waiting until they can eat? That’s a prime example of weaponized incompetence—a behavior where someone feigns inability to avoid responsibility, putting the burden on someone else.

As we prepare for one of the most labor-intensive holidays of the year, let’s talk about how weaponized incompetence creeps into gender dynamics, why it’s especially frustrating during the holidays, and how to address it effectively.

At its core, weaponized incompetence isn’t always about genuine inability; more often, it’s about a lack of desire to do the work. Instead of openly refusing a task, the individual pretends they don’t know how to do it—or makes a half-hearted attempt—or even worst when they flat out ignore the glaring obvious signs because they know someone else will step in to complete it. This behavior is a calculated way to avoid labor while maintaining plausible deniability.

This behavior is not just frustrating—it can perpetuate inequality in relationships and reinforce harmful stereotypes about gender roles.This behavior can manifest in any collaborative setting. Weaponized incompetence often intersects with gender dynamics, particularly in the realms of domestic and emotional labor. In many heterosexual relationships, societal expectations have long assigned women the role of primary caretakers, whether it’s managing household chores, caring for children, or even handling the mental load of remembering birthdays, appointments, and social plans.

The motivation behind weaponized incompetence is avoidance, not lack of inability in completing the tasks. When someone says, “I just can’t do it as well as you,” or “I didn’t know where to start,” they are indicating they don't want to take initiative in learning or putting effort in completing said task(s). This results in the responsibility shifting to someone who actually cares enough to pick up the slack.  They recognize that completing tasks requires effort they’re unwilling to expend. By prioritizing their free time or convenience, they preference resides in their own comfort. Emotional manipulation, such as, "You're better at it," is another problematic tactic that often comes disguised as a compliment. While it may sound flattering, it’s actually a way of excusing their unwillingness to contribute. By framing their avoidance as deference, they sidestep responsibility while appealing to their partner’s sense of competence or pride.

In the long run, weaponized incompetence damages relationships over time, particularly for the person left to pick up the slack often feels overburdened, unappreciated, and resentful. This dynamic also undermines trust and respect, as it reveals a lack of genuine partnership. In many cases, this behavior is rooted in gendered expectations. Traditional roles often assign domestic and emotional labor to women, allowing men to lean on weaponized incompetence to avoid contributing. By pretending not to know or care, they reinforce stereotypes that these tasks are “naturally” women’s work. The person avoiding responsibility may also rely on their partner’s desire to maintain peace, efficiency, or quality.

Breaking free from weaponized incompetence isn’t just good for your partner—it’s good for you, too. It helps you grow as an individual, builds a stronger, more equal partnership, and teaches valuable skills you can carry throughout your life. Show your partner, and yourself, that you’re committed to being an active and capable teammate in your relationship.

While this behavior typically arises in adult relationships, its ripple effects on children can be significant and damaging. Children learn by observing adults. When they witness one parent avoiding responsibilities through weaponized incompetence and the other overcompensating, they may mimic these patterns in their own relationships, perpetuating cycles of inequality or manipulation. If one parent constantly takes on the burden of caregiving and chores due to the other's incompetence, it can lead to an unequal distribution of time and attention. This imbalance might leave children feeling neglected or witnessing parental burnout. Children are sensitive to household dynamics. Watching one parent manipulate the other can cause confusion, anxiety, and even resentment. It may foster feelings of instability or guilt if the child perceives themselves as a source of parental stress. In households where weaponized incompetence aligns with gender norms (e.g., a father avoiding child-rearing tasks), children may internalize stereotypical roles, limiting their understanding of equity and partnership. Children often look to both parents as role models of reliability. If they perceive one parent as shirking responsibility, it may lead to diminished respect and trust in that parent over time.

(CREDIT)

A Note To Men: 

Men, it’s time to take an honest look at how weaponized incompetence might be showing up in your relationships. This isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness and growth. Weaponized incompetence often isn’t malicious; it’s a behavior learned from societal norms that have long excused men from household and emotional labor. However, continuing this pattern isn’t fair to your partner or to the health of your relationship.

Here’s why stepping up matters:

• It’s Not About Ability, It’s About Effort: Saying “I’m not good at this” or “You’re better at it” might seem harmless, but it’s often a way to avoid learning or improving. If you can excel in your career or hobbies, you can figure out how to be a partner that values and respects their partner. The time and effort you put into your partner should also match the level of commitment you have for your career and hobbies. Competence is built through effort, not avoidance. 

• Your Partner Deserves a Partner, Not a Supervisor: When you consistently rely on your partner to take on the bulk of responsibilities, you’re placing an unfair mental and emotional load on them. This dynamic turns your partner into a manager and you into a dependent, which erodes trust and mutual respect. When your partner feels more like a "parent" or "manager" in the relationship, —it can also erode emotional connection, respect, and even physical attraction to your partner.

• Shared Labor Strengthens Relationships: Taking on your fair share of responsibilities isn’t just about fairness; it’s about showing your partner that you value their time, energy, and well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual effort and support. When one partner views their contributions as “help,” it can lead to resentment from the other, who feels unsupported and unappreciated. Over time, this dynamic can erode intimacy and create feelings of frustration. 

• Building Connection Before the Bedroom: When it comes to intimacy, foreplay for many women starts long before the physical touch—it begins in the mind and heart. Emotional and mental stimulation are essential components of connection, setting the stage for deeper physical intimacy. Without these elements, the experience can feel mechanical, leaving women unfulfilled and disconnected. In a healthy relationship, sex is a source of connection, pleasure, and intimacy. However, when it starts feeling like a chore—a task to check off a to-do list rather than a shared experience—it can create frustration, resentment, and disconnect.

(CREDIT)

Here’s how you can start breaking the cycle:

1. Be Honest with Yourself: Are there tasks you avoid because they seem “too hard,”  you don't care to do them, or because you assume your partner will handle them? Start by acknowledging where you can step up. Often, the person engaging in it may not realize the harm they’re causing, and the person on the receiving end may feel too frustrated to articulate their concerns clearly.

2. Learn and Practice: Don’t wait to be told how to do something. Take initiative to learn—Google is your friend, and so is trial and error. Your first attempt doesn’t have to be perfect; what matters is that you’re trying. This avoids the cycle of one person being the “default” expert while the other opts out or picks and chooses when they want to "help".

3. Own Your Responsibilities: Don’t just “help out” when asked. Take full ownership of specific tasks so your partner doesn’t have to monitor or remind you. It’s essential to view household, emotional, and mental labor as shared responsibilities, not one partner doing the other a favor. Shifting the mindset from “helping” to “sharing” fosters equality.

4. Communicate and Listen: Have open conversations with your partner about what equity looks like in your relationship. Be willing to hear their frustrations without getting defensive or attacking your partner by naming they ways you do "help". Accountability is key to breaking patterns of avoidance.

5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the pattern persists despite efforts to address it, couples therapy can provide a neutral space to unpack the issue and develop healthier dynamics. Often  times men avoids taking responsibility for their emotional growth or mental health by resisting therapy. The refusal to engage in therapy can create an imbalance in emotional labor, leaving their partner to shoulder the burden of managing conflicts, communication, and relational harmony. 

Due to societal expectations of masculinity, men may see going to therapy as a sign of weakness, may find self-reflection and emotional openness intimidating, and may avoid confronting truths or altering ingrained behaviors that may require necessary change. Remember, therapy is a proactive resource for growth. Therapy isn’t just about addressing problems—it’s about building tools for a stronger, healthier relationship. If one partner refuses therapy despite persistent issues, it might be time to evaluate the relationship’s dynamics and status. A refusal to engage in emotional growth can signal deeper incompatibilities that may need professional or personal reflection to resolve.

1. Explore Self-Help Resources: In some cases, therapy may not be an option due to financial burdens.You can start exploring tools that promote self-awareness and emotional growth. Here are a few ways to start your healing journey: (1) read books or listen to podcasts on personal development, (2) journal to process your thoughts and emotions, (3) use mindfulness apps like Calm or Headspace to practice self-regulation.

One of the most challenging and painful situations in a relationship is when one partner refuses to take accountability for their actions or seek the help needed to improve the relationship. It’s a deeply frustrating experience for the other partner, especially when they are invested in making things work.  If one partner refuses to seek help, whether through therapy, self-help resources, or simply trying to make changes, it’s difficult to sustain a healthy dynamic. It may feel like you’re trying to carry the relationship alone. But there are times when the emotional and mental toll becomes too great, and walking away may be the only option left. If the refusal to take accountability is accompanied by verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, and/or physical abuse, this is a serious red flag. In these situations, the relationship is no longer safe, and leaving is often the best—and only—option for your well-being (and for your children, if any are involved).

You can defer to last month's post about Domestic Violence Awareness for further clarification on the different forms of abuse.

Can you identify the ways in which he weaponizes his incompetence against his girlfriend while she is sick and attempting to rest?

 

(CREDIT)

Until next time...

Sharon