I've been hearing a lot about South Korea's 4B Movement, and went down the rabbit hole of doing some research. Essentially, women are just plain tired and fed up with men, so they are choosing themselves for their peace of mind by cutting off men completely. Women are boycotting romantic relationships until men (and society) change their entitled attitudes towards and about women. Women are tired of patriarchal norms, misogyny, sexism, gender violence/femicide, sexual harassment/violence, and the lack of reproductive rights.
The movement was inspired by Cho Nam-Joo's feminist novel, Kim Ji-young, Born 1982. It focuses on a housewife and stay-at-home mother who suffers from postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter. The plot examines the sexism experienced by the main character throughout her youth. Gaining traction, the book became a bestseller internationally in 2018 and was incorporated into the South Korean feminist, #MeToo, and 4B movements. I am patiently waiting on Libby for my turn to check out and read/listen to the book (Wikipedia, 2024).
Founded by Jung Se-young and Baeck Ha-na, the movement condemns heteronormative gender roles and marriage.
The premise of the 4B Movement is based on four guiding principles:
Bihon- no to heterosexual marriage
Bichulsan - no to childbirth
Biyeonae - no to dating
Bisekseu - no to heterosexual sexual relationships
Basically, decenter men and live your life to the fullest, focusing on familial, social, and platonic relationships/friendships.
(Credit: FACEBOOK)
This is and will continue to have a huge negative impact on South Korea's economy if women stop having children. Globally, the birth rates have been and are continuing to decline. No wonder abortions are banned, making it even harder for women to have agency over their own bodies.
With what is currently happening in the United States regarding women's reproductive rights, or should I say lack of, I'm all for this to become a global movement where women from all walks of life come together to protect each other. Men need to remove themselves from conversations and creating legislation about something they know nothing about, especially if they have no desire to educate themselves on the female body outside of sex and use it for their pleasure. This is why we need to implement co-ed sex education instead of just a quick overview of puberty and abstinence as a form of birth control. Let's not forget that it is typically a male coach who is disseminating the information. The scared straight method of "you'll get a STI" or "a pregnancy will result" isn't going to cut it. Now more than ever, our younger generations have access to the internet and friends who have access to the internet. No amount of monitoring and/or blocking sites will protect our babies from all the disgusting and dangerous things out there. Hell, our kids know more about sex than we did at their age, which also means they have access to a lot more misinformation regarding sex. It starts at home...
While I wish I had the time to sit down and read, I have really been into audiobooks since October 24, 2023, and still going strong. For the record, it's still consuming a book, just using a different sense, so it counts (for those who don't think it does)! Something a lot of people get a kick out of is when I tell them at what speed I listen to my audiobooks. I can't do 1X because it's so slow and I start to dissociate, having to rewind a lot to previous sections. Depending on the narrator's speed, my sweet spot is between 2.5X and 3.0X. I know you probably think I am crazy, but it's my undiagnosed/self-diagnosed ADHD I tell ya! Not only does it satisfy my attention span (squirrel?), but it allows me the ability to listen to more books and get exposure to more authors. Too many books and too much to do, so little time. I see it as killing two birds with one stone.
The mental image I get listening at 1.0 speed is this:
"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one." - George R. R. Martin, A Dance with Dragons (2011)
My primary goal for 2024 is to focus on BIPOC authors and expanding my knowledge base. Check and Check!
In January, I found so many amazing and talented South Asian authors! My current TBR for just South Asian authors is over 100 and steadily climbing as I find new titles or get recommendations.
Some of my fave Contemporary Romance South Asian authors:
Nisha Sharma
Alisha Rai
Sonali Dev
Shveta Thakrar (YA)
Can I tell you a secret?
I have never read what are considered to be the "classics", like Jane Austen books, nor have I had any desire to watch regency-era films. That is, until Shonda Rhimes, the titan that she is, spearheaded a multi-season TV show adaptation of Julia Quinn's Bridgerton book series on Netflix. Speaking of Bridgerton, come on May 16th so we can finally watch Season 3! With that being said, Sonali Dev's The Rajes Series is a modern-day interpretation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma.
Nisha Sharma's If Shakespeare Was an Auntie Series is a modern-day ode to Taming of the Shrew, Much Ado About Nothing, and Twelfth Night as romantic comedies. Alisha Rai's Modern Love Series incorporates how many people find love these days...through social media, dating websites and apps. Shveta Thakrar's books, Star Daughter and The Dream Runners, beautifully weaves Hindu Mythology into the storylines and perfectly worded descriptions of the visual details that you feel like you are there.
My all time favorite book this month was My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma. This book was a love letter to Millennials who grew up in the 90s watching classic Bollywood movies. It brought back so many nostalgic memories of that era. I could read this book over and over and over again! Last month being Black History Month, I focused on listening to African American/Black authors.
I found some amazing authors like:
Tiffany D. Jackson (YA)
Rachel Howzell Hall (Suspense/Thriller)
Selena Montgomery (Suspense/Thriller)
Tracey Deonn (YA)
S. A. Cosby (Suspense/Thriller)
If you are a Stephen King fan like me, you will L-O-V-E The Weight of Blood. It's Carrie meets post-Jim Crow in the present day, but the white people in town still act like it's not. You won't be disappointed, I promise!
As a Millennial who grew up in the 90's, Let Me Hear a Rhyme paid homage to that decade's hip-hop scene. The setting takes place in Brooklyn after the deaths of Tupac and Biggie. It was like taking a trip down musical memory lane.
Legendborn was 100/10! It's not necessarily a retelling of King Arthur and the Roundtable, but more like an extension of the original story, in the present day, with the descendents, all the while weaving slavery into the plot. It's got monsters, mages, and witches, oh my! Can't wait to listen to book #2, Bloodmarked.
Honorable mention goes to Grown. It was very reminiscent of what went down with pedo R. Kelly and all those underaged girls he abused and traumatized, though the author indicated it wasn't. Tiffany Jackson, through a similar personal experience, shows us what happens when a young and impressionable girl falls for someone much older and how that person can manipulate, control, and gaslight their victim(s) into submission through narcissistic abuse. This book was heartbreaking, but does a good job of showcasing the sad reality that many young girls face.
With March being Women's History Month, my focus was on reading books about feminism and books by a diverse group of women.
What many of these books confirmed for me is that men have no idea what it means to be a woman, see things through our lens, and the challenges we face. If nothing else, the non-fiction books confirmed my decision to decentering men in my life, and let me tell you, that is the best decision of my life. Well, next to getting my degrees that is! I know men have their own challenges, but many have a patriarchal mindset and don't want to learn and grow. Men live in a system that was designed by them, for them, and yet they are not evolving to be the best version of themselves for themselves, their families, and friends. Too many think that just because they go to work and bring a paycheck that absolves them of the domestic labor at home. Many feminist and womanist thinkers are calling motherhood modern-day slavery. I feel like the divorce rates are on the low end at 50%. It should be more like 75%, especially since Covid in 2020. I do agree with the statistic that 80% of divorces are initiated by college-educated women (hence, why I am fortunate for my educational background)!
The most interesting thing I learned in March is that the "Jane Roe" of Roe v. Wade was Norma McCorvey, a woman from Katy, Texas who wanted an abortion when pregnant with her third child. She was unemployed and did not want the pregnancy to move forward. At the advisement of her friends, she told the police that she had been raped by a group of black men, which would grant her the abortion she desired. Luckily, during the investigation, it came out that she fabricated the story. With what happened to Emmett Till and countless innocent black men, she had the nerve to pull this BS stunt. She then tried to get an illegal abortion but they were all shut down. Her doctor recommended that she carry the baby to term, and then allow the baby to get adopted, which she did. After everything was said and done, she quit her job at an abortion clinic and became close with Flip Benham, the national director for Operation Rescue, an anti-abortion organization. She made a "deathbed confession" that she didn't actually support the anti-abortion movement, rather, she was paid to make her "sentiments" known (Wikipedia, 2024).
Between Black History Month and Women's History Month, I am mentally and emotionally exhausted by the plight women have endured since the beginning of time, especially Black women. My heart breaks for Black women who have been at the forefront of change and they continually get disrespected and not acknowledged for their contributions and accomplishments to society.
I leave you with two quotes...
"Your career, your money, and your education will never leave you, but a man will."
"When something is badfor white women, it is worsefor women of color, and it is WORST for Black women.
What books have you read that you would recommend?
