Celebrating Black Voices: A Spotlight on Black Authors for Black History Month

Black History Month is a time to honor and celebrate the rich history, culture, and contributions of the Black community. One powerful way to do this is through literature, where Black authors have consistently offered profound insights, vibrant storytelling, and diverse perspectives. Their works invite us to explore the complexities of history, identity, love, struggle, and triumph through their unique voices.

Reading books by Black authors goes beyond mere entertainment. It is an act of engagement with narratives that often challenge mainstream histories and amplify underrepresented voices. Through their stories, we gain a deeper understanding of the Black experience and contribute to a broader conversation about equity, justice, and cultural appreciation.

While Black History Month offers a dedicated time for these explorations, supporting Black authors year-round is essential. Consider joining book clubs, supporting Black-owned bookstores, and sharing your favorite reads by Black writers with your community. Celebrating Black History Month through literature is a meaningful way to connect with history and culture while broadening our understanding of the world. This month, let’s honor the contributions of Black authors and ensure their stories continue to resonate far beyond February.

While I tried my hardest to focus on Black authors, Libby has a mind of its own and simultaneously gives me access to books that I have been waiting several weeks or months for! I can say that a majority of my books were by Black authors.

My favorite fiction book was The Poisons We Drink. As soon as I heard the dedication, I knew I would love the book, and I was right! The dedication in question:

"I dedicate this book to all my haters. I only got this far outta spite."

 The book is an INDIE Young Adult (YA) fantasy book by Bethany Baptiste. Venus, a teenage girl, navigates a world filled with magic, secrets, and danger. She creates love potions to earn money to take care of her family. When her mother is killed, she takes on the responsibility of caring for her rebellious younger sister, Janus. Venus is approached by the Grand Witcher to avenge her mother's killer, but at a cost. As she goes deeper into the political corruption that has plagued her city,  she needs to figure out who she can trust, including herself. Some of the themes the book explores are identity, power, and resilience. 

My favorite non-fiction book was Walking in My Joy: In These Streets by Jennifer Lewis. Many of you may know her from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Black-ish. This book is essentially an elaboration of some of the events from her first memoir, The Black Mother of Hollywood. I don't think I have ever laughed so much while listening to an audiobook. The best part is that Jennifer Lewis is also the narrator of her memoir. Her cadence is pure perfection. She drops the n word (with an "a"), bitch, and muthafucka consistently throughout the book as only Jennifer Lewis can. Each chapter starts off with a poem or music. And as someone who aligns with the same political views as her, she calls out Felon47 during his first term. 

I shared a few resources with students who didn't know where to start to engaging with Black authors and/or movies/documentaries in a multicultural class I supported that just ended. If anyone is interested, here you go:

Non-Fiction Books (in no particular order):

1. The New Jim Crow – Michelle Alexander
2. Bad Feminist – Roxane Gay
3. We Should All Be Feminists - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
4. Feminism is for Everybody – bell hooks
5. All About Love – bell hooks
6. Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates
7. Abolition. Feminism. Now - Erica Meiners, Gina Dent, Beth Richie, Angela Y. Davis
8. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love – bell hooks
9. Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot – Mikka Kendall
10. Unbound: My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement – Tarana Burke (the creator of the Me Too Movement)
11. Misogynior Transformed: Black Women’s Digital Resistance – Maya Bailey
12. Medical Bondage: Race, Gender, and the Origins of American Gynecology – Deidre Cooper Owens
13. Twice as Hard: The Stories of Black Women Who Fought to Become Physicians, from the Civil War to the Twenty-First Century – Jasmine Brown
14. Are Prisons Obsolete – Angela Y. Davis
15. All Boys Aren’t Blue – George M. Johnson
16. It's Not You, It's Capitalism: Why It's Time to Break Up and How to Move On – Malaika Jabali
17. Freedom is a Constant Struggle – Angela Y. Davis
18. The Sisters Are Alright: Changing the Broken Narrative of Black Women in America – Tamara Winfrey Harris
19. Lead from the Outside: How to Build Your Future and Make Real Change – Stacey Abrams
20. Silent Justice – The Struggle for American Americans Voting Rights – Lawrence Goldstone

Fiction Books (Authors):

1. Fantasy

• Tracy Deonn

2. Contemporary

• Tiffany D. Jackson (writes a lot of YA centric books)
• Dhonielle Clayton

3. Dystopian

• Octavia Butler (among other genres)

4. Suspense/Thriller

• a. Stacy Abrams (also writes under pen name - Selena Montgomery)
• b. Rachel Howzell Hall
• c. Sharona Williams
• d. S. A. Crosby
• e. Kellye Garrett
• f. Jumata Emill
• g. L. S. Stratton
• h. Joelle Wellington
• i. Nicola Yoon
• j. Dalila Harris
• k. Vanessa Walters

5. Romance

• Kennedy Ryan
• Jasmine Guillory
• Denise Willaims
• Michelle Stimpson
• Krystal Marquis
• Taj McCoy
• Brenda Jackson
• Talia Hibbert

6. Horror

• Lisa Springer
•  Erin E. Adams
• Jamison Shea
• Jessica Lewis

Documentaries & Movies:

1. PBS

• Black Migrations: A People on the Move
• American Coup: Wilmington 1898
• Zora Neale Hurston: Claiming A Space

2. YouTube

• Lemonade: The Visual Album

3. Disney+

• Black Is King (2020)

4. Netflix

• 13th (2016)
•  Becoming (2020)
• Homecoming: A Film by Beyonce (2019)
• Amend: The Fight for America (2021)
• For Our Children (2022)
• Black Barbie (2023)
• Rustin (2023)
• Stamped from the Beginning (2023) – based on Ibram X. Kendi’s best-selling book of the same name
• The Black Godfather (2019)

5. Hulu

• Aftershock (2022)
• Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (2019)

6. Amazon Prime

• One Night in Miami (2021)
• I Am Not Your Negro (2017)

7. HBO Max

• Black Art: In the Absence of Light (2021)
• Bessie (2015)
• Straight Out of Compton (2015)
• Paris is Burning (1991)
• Good Hair (2009)

8. Apple TV+

• The Banker

9. Hoopla

• Dark Girls (2011)

10. Kanopy

• Ailey (2021)
• John Lewis: Good Trouble (2020
• Maya Angelou: And Still I Rise (2016)

What have you read, listened, and/or watched that you would recommend? I would love to add to my never-ending TBR!

Until next time...

Sharon

The Struggle to Separate the Artist from the Art: A Deep-Dive into the Complexities of Judgment

(CREDIT)

In the age of social media, where celebrities are often both our idols and the subjects of intense public scrutiny, the question of whether we can or should separate the artist from their art extends beyond traditional art forms into the world of entertainment. Musicians, actors, athletes, and influencers all create public personas that blend their talents with their personal lives, and as a result, their art—or performances—become intertwined with their identity. But when those celebrities falter or their actions contradict our values, it raises the inevitable question: Can we continue to enjoy their work without endorsing their behavior?

The debate over whether it’s possible—or even ethical—to separate the celebrity from their work is more nuanced than ever. We’re not just talking about their roles in movies or albums; this dilemma applies to influencers' social media posts, sports figures’ public stances, and even the way we perceive a celebrity’s private life in relation to their professional output. With celebrities under a constant spotlight, it’s increasingly difficult to appreciate their talents without acknowledging their personal flaws, controversial actions, or even their politics. This question is not new but is being asked with increasing frequency in today’s society. The debate over whether we can – or should – separate the artist from the art touches on deep ethical considerations, personal values, and the power of artistic creation.

Celebrities are often seen as larger-than-life figures, with their work serving as an extension of their personal brand. Much like artists, their fame and public image often merge with their creative output. This is especially true for actors, musicians, and athletes, whose personal lives are closely followed by fans and media alike. Whether through the characters they portray, the music they create, or their philanthropic endeavors, celebrities often share intimate pieces of themselves with the public.

The allure of the artist’s persona is undeniable. In many cases, the creator’s identity becomes inseparable from their work, often fueling or even enhancing its allure. Consider how much of an artist’s public life—whether it’s their political activism, personal struggles, or scandals—becomes intertwined with their output. When an artist is revered, their work often takes on additional layers of meaning, shaped by their life’s story.

This interplay between image and art becomes even more complicated when a celebrity is caught in scandal or accused of harmful behavior. Suddenly, the fan who once idolized an actor, singer, or influencer might feel as if they have to choose between their admiration for the work and their personal ethics. Should we keep supporting them, or does the support of their art feel like an endorsement of their behavior?

One of the key reasons it's difficult to separate the artist from the art is the issue of accountability. When an artist’s actions or words contradict the values we hold dear, consuming their art can feel like an endorsement of their behavior. This is particularly evident in the case of artists who have been accused of harming others, whether it be through abuse, exploitation, or discriminatory views.
In these instances, it’s not just about the moral dilemma of engaging with their work, but also the social responsibility we feel to not perpetuate harmful behaviors. We might ask ourselves: by continuing to consume art from controversial figures, are we excusing their actions or giving them a platform? The tension between personal enjoyment and social responsibility can create a deep internal conflict.

The rise of "cancel culture" has made the artist-celebrity dilemma even more immediate. In a digital age where everything a celebrity does or says is magnified and immortalized online, the notion of separating the celebrity from their art becomes less viable. When a celebrity faces accusations of misconduct, whether it be through #MeToo allegations, racist remarks, or unethical actions, fans and critics alike are quick to react. Some argue that we have a responsibility to hold celebrities accountable for their actions and stop supporting them financially and emotionally. Others contend that we should separate the work from the personal life, not allowing their flaws to eclipse their achievements.

The case of R. Kelly serves as a prominent example. His musical contributions, which had once made him one of the most influential artists in the R&B world, are now largely overshadowed by his conviction for sexual abuse and exploitation. For many fans, listening to his music feels wrong, as it now brings the weight of his criminal behavior along with it. Yet, there are still those who continue to listen to his songs, either because they believe in the value of his music or because they believe that the art itself should remain unaffected by the artist’s personal life. 

From an ethical standpoint, I for one no longer listen to R. Kelly, among many other artists/abusers. Supporting a rapist and pedophile, regardless of his talent, is complicitness of their actions, period. He is still benefiting by monetizing off "fans" who would rather listen to a good beat than support the dozens of Black girls and women abused by him. The money he made directly from his art and his fans is what allowed him to fund his abuser lifestyle. Not to mention, it was hush money to pay off the families of the girls/women he abused to keep his preferences private and out of the litigation. Being a woman, having dealt with abusive and toxic men, and having daughters of my own are my guiding post on whose artistry I choose to engage with. While those weren't my daughters who were abused and assaulted by him, they were someone else's child(ren). Me being in that specific situation shouldn't be the only reason why I stop supporting vile and disgusting human beings. It's called emotional intelligence, empathy, and critical thinking. 

Take for example the current situation with Justin Baldoni suing the New York Times for the way they reported the news regarding the sexual harassment Blake Lively allegedly experienced on the set of It Ends With Us. When her complaint came out, so many women rushed to believe and stand with her without hearing Justin Baldoni's side. I'm not going to lie, when I heard of her claims, I was disappointed, but my intuition told me something didn't feel right. I love the work Justin Baldoni has been doing with getting men to talk about their feelings, their struggles, going to therapy, and hosting a podcast, The Man Enough Podcast, deconstructing masculinity and the negative implications of patriarchy on men. When his lawsuit came out, it began to make more sense. The 87 page document  provided incriminating evidence that contradicted BL's claims and how she basically danced around the truth and provided detailed accounts where she took things out of context to make it appear as though she was the victim in the situation and not the aggressor. She essentially alienated JB from the rest of the cast, blocked him from participating in interviews with the cast, among many other things. Many claim that is was a hostile takeover because she wanted producer credits and the rights to the sequel without JB's involvement. Her narcissistic and calculated methods turned JB's passion project for the last 6 years into a nightmare. Don't get me started on Colleen Hoover and wanting to be buddy buddy with Hollywood "royalty" and the controversies surrounding her books. What I do know is that I never heard anyone talk ill of JB; but I have heard of BL's mean girl vibes since her start on Gossip Girl. When this all came out, her role in A Simple Favor seems more in line with who she is in real life. Again, I don't personally know her, but these are based on how she presents herself to the general public and reading between the lines of the things she says in interviews. I mean, she and Ryan Reynolds did get married on a plantation. That in itself should speak volumes about them. For the record, no one should be getting married on plantations.

The criteria is still the same regardless of it's a musician, celebrity, athlete, or anyone in the public eye. I'm not perfect by any means and know that I can't 100% eliminate the art from my life, but I do make a conscious effort to opt out of listening or watching. There are situations that I can't control, like out in public, at get togethers, and/or other people's homes. And that is precisely why I keep a pair of charged earbuds with me so that I can just pop them in my ears and  listen to a book. Shoutout to Libby!

So, is it possible to completely separate the artist from the art? The short answer is: probably not.While it may be tempting to say, "I can just enjoy the art without endorsing the artist," this becomes more complicated when money is involved. Celebrities are often financially rewarded for their work, and continuing to engage with their art—whether through album sales, ticket purchases, or even streaming platforms—translates to supporting them directly. For some, this feels like complicity. Can we, in good conscience, continue to financially support a celebrity whose actions contradict our ethical beliefs? Or should we view art as a separate entity, unaffected by the moral character of the person who created it? Our connection to art is deeply emotional, and when an artist’s personal life or behavior enters the conversation, it can irreversibly affect how we perceive their work. Yet, the act of disconnection can also serve as a form of resistance. By acknowledging the artist's flaws, we engage in a more complex conversation about the nature of art, creativity, and society itself.

It’s important to acknowledge that there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Some may find it easier to appreciate a work despite knowing its creator's flaws, while others may choose to abandon the art entirely, unable to reconcile the two. The answer to this question is ultimately personal, shaped by our own values, experiences, and tolerance for nuance. It requires self-reflection and an understanding of what we value in both art and the artists who create it.

To reiterate as we move forward, we must ask ourselves: 

Can we appreciate art and performance for what they are, or is it impossible to overlook the human behind the work?

Until next time...

Sharon 

P.S. One thing I will continue to look forward to in 2025 and beyond is the downfall of Hollywood, politicians, and the rich. People are waking up, educating themselves, and realizing that the math isn't mathing. When the masses get fed up and realize there are more of us than them, we can demand changes. Don't believe me, just watch Disney's A Bug's Life. The movie is a metaphor for the power structure/dynamic between the haves and the have-nots, symbolic of how our society operates.

Plotting Your Progress: Fun Ways to Track Your Reading Journey

In today’s digital age, we live in a world that thrives on constant comparison. From social media updates to fitness challenges, it often feels like there's always something to measure against. One area where this comparison has become particularly prominent is reading. The rise of reading challenges, yearly goals, and social sharing platforms like Goodreads, Fable, and StoryGraph has made it easier than ever to track how many books we read. While this can be motivating for some, it has also led to the notion that reading a lot of books is a competition. The way I see it, I am only in competition with myself from the previous year and how I can make a healthier, happier, and knowledgeable version of myself going forward. Knowledge is power. Well, according to Cersei Lannister, "Power is Power." 

Here's another take that I really appreciate:

(CREDIT)

I know, I know, I know, my previous post was me sharing that I listened to 402 books in 2024. That was me sharing my reignited passion for reading, (and possibly making up for lost time while being focused on living and surviving). Too many books, too little time, with a dash of undiagnosed ADHD and a listening speed of 2.5X to 3.0X. Because of this chaotic combination, I now have so many authors that I can recommend and anticipate new books from, as well as a TBR that is constantly growing and never-ending.

I saw this chart in one of the book communities I am in on Facebook and it is not to shame or make anyone feel bad, rather, I hope this makes you proud of the progress you have made with your reads and/or encourages someone to start their reading journey and fall in love with books as I have. I think about how rich my life is now with all the knowledge I have acquired from the books I have been exposed to. Everyone has their own reasons for reading, and those reasons can vary widely from person to person. I hope you find your reason(s) and niche. Some read to escape reality, others to learn, and some for the pure love of stories. For me, it's all three! 

(CREDIT)

If you're an avid reader like me, keeping track of the books you read can enhance your reading experience. Tracking your journey not only helps you remember what you've read but also allows you to set goals, analyze your reading habits, and discover new books that match your interests. Whether you're diving into fiction or exploring thought-provoking nonfiction, here are some practical ways to document and celebrate your reading journey.

1. Keep a Reading Journal
A reading journal is a timeless method for tracking your books. You can jot down titles, authors, dates finished, and personal thoughts. Here’s how to get started:

• Create a dedicated notebook or use a digital note-taking app.

• Record basic details like the book title, author, and genre.

• Add your favorite quotes, memorable moments, and personal reviews.

• Reflect on themes and your emotional response to the story.

2. Use Book Tracking Apps
Apps make tracking effortless and fun. Platforms like StoryGraph, Fable, and Goodreads are popular among readers:

• StoryGraph (Founder: Nadia Odunayo - Black-Owned Business): Offers mood-based recommendations, detailed reading stats (such as average page length, reading pace, and favorite genres), and customizable reading challenges and goals. You can filter books by specific themes, triggers, or content warnings, which helps you find books that align with your values and preferences, as well as ensuring you avoid books that might not be suitable for your needs. It doesn’t overwhelm users with ads or distraction, as it is ad-free, providing a distraction-free experience.

• Fable (Founder: Padmasree Warrior - Indian-Owned Business): Focuses on creating a more social and interactive reading experience, offering a variety of benefits for book lovers. Users to join or create book clubs where they can read and discuss books together in real time. This social aspect enhances the reading experience, as you can share thoughts, questions, and reflections with fellow readers. In book clubs, you can participate in live chats with fellow readers, discussing chapters and characters as you go along. This creates a dynamic, real-time conversation around books. able offers personalized book recommendations based on your reading history and preferences. You can discover new books through curated lists, ensuring that your reading experience stays fresh and relevant. Fable also has a large library of ebooks, including bestsellers, contemporary works, and more niche titles. As a subscription-based service, it gives you access to a variety of titles at a flat fee, which can be more affordable than purchasing books individually. One of the main disadvantages of using Fable as a reading platform is the lack of audiobook support. While the platform offers a wide range of ebooks and focuses on providing a great digital reading experience, it does not yet support audiobooks. Here's hoping it happens sooner rather than later!

• Goodreads: Provides a social platform to share your progress, join book clubs, and set annual reading goals. (MY TAKE on Goodreads - I won't elaborate too much into Goodreads because I am not a fan of the monopoly Amazon has become thanks to Jeff Bezos and his greed. While I do use Amazon for shopping, I try my hardest to buy most of my books off Amazon. I know it's easy to use Goodreads if you read on a kindle and/or buy books on Amazon, but Bezos is rich enough. )

These apps also allow you to categorize books as “Want to Read,” “Currently Reading,” or “Read,” making organization a breeze. You can also categorize as "Did Not Finish" (DNF) for books that you just couldn't get into or "Re-Read" for those stories that were too good to only read once! 

One advantage of StoryGraph and Fable is that they offer the ability to import data from Goodreads, which comes with several advantages for users transitioning or integrating their reading experiences across platforms. Both StoryGraph and Fable allow for a quick setup by importing your Goodreads data, which eliminates the need to manually add books you've read and reviews you've written. This can be especially beneficial for avid readers with large libraries.  Importing from Goodreads ensures that none of your reading history, ratings, or reviews are lost. Whether you're transitioning to a new platform or looking to back up your data, it guarantees continuity. Both platforms provide personalized recommendations and insights, which become more accurate with your Goodreads history. Your preferences, reading stats, and trends can be used to generate book suggestions tailored to your tastes. By importing your Goodreads data, you can maintain connections with friends and fellow readers, ensuring that your social reading experience continues seamlessly, whether on StoryGraph or Fable.

Added bonus -- If you don't want to support and keep making a corrupt billionaire richer year after year, StoryGraph and Fable are the way to go! BIPOC and woman-owned/operated = a win/win for everyone!

3. Create a Spreadsheet
If you love customizing data, a spreadsheet might be your perfect tool. Use columns for:

• Title, author, and genre

• Date started and finished

• Star rating

• Key themes or takeaways

Spreadsheets allow you to filter and sort data, making it easy to analyze your reading habits over time.

If you don't want to create one, I was fortunate to to find ONE made by a fellow book lover when I first began my reading journey in October 2023. I wish I could tag her for credit, but it's been so long since I last had access to her video. Make sure to make a copy of the spreadsheet before you do anything else to ensure the template works for anyone else accessing the link after you. 

DISCLAIMER: Do keep in mind that this spreadsheet is on Google Drive and you should have working knowledge on how to add additional columns/rows, edit options, use formulas, and how to create/edit charts and graphs. Also, this creator of the spreadsheet's genre of choice is romance, so if that's not your forte, knowing how to maneuver in spreadsheets is a MUST! If you don't, Google/YouTube will be your best friend, like they are mine.

4. Participate in Reading Challenges
Joining challenges can motivate you to track your progress and stay consistent. Examples include:

• The annual Goodreads Reading Challenge

• "Read Around the World" challenges focusing on diverse authors

• Genre-specific goals, like reading a certain number of mysteries or memoirs

Track your progress in a journal, app, or social media post to stay accountable.

5. Annotate Your Books
For physical book lovers, annotating directly in the margins can be a great way to track your thoughts and progress. Use sticky notes, highlighters, or even a pencil to:

• Highlight meaningful passages

• Add notes about your reactions or insights

• Mark questions or topics for further exploration

6. Join a Book Community
Online book communities offer a space to share and track your reading journey with others. Platforms like Reddit (“/r/books”), Instagram (Bookstagram), Tik Tok (BookTok) or Facebook groups can inspire you to:

• Share your reading goals

• Discover new books

• Discuss your thoughts with like-minded readers

7. Use Visual Aids
If you’re a visual learner, tracking your reading journey with visuals can be exciting:

• Bullet Journals: Incorporate creative trackers like bookshelf drawings, habit trackers, or pie charts.

• Digital Infographics: Use tools like Canva to create appealing reading summaries.

• Wall Displays: Dedicate a space in your home for a reading wall where you display book covers or quotes.

8. Reflect and Adjust
At the end of each month or year, review your reading log. Ask yourself:

• What genres did I enjoy the most?

• Did I meet my reading goals?

• What did I learn from these books?

Use this reflection to refine your goals and improve your tracking methods.

Tracking your reading journey is more than just a list of books; it’s a way to deepen your connection to the stories and ideas that shape your world. Whether you choose a traditional journal, a high-tech app, or a creative visual aid, the key is finding a method that fits your style. Start tracking today and discover the joy of looking back on your literary adventures.

What book tracking method do you prefer and why?

Until next time...

Sharon

My Year of Reading: 2024 Stats, Highlights, and Takeaways

When I started 2024, I never imagined I’d end the year with 402 books under my belt. What began as a casual challenge turned into an unforgettable literary adventure that shaped my days and expanded my worldview. As an avid reader, who found her love for reading again at the end of 2023, 2024 has been a remarkable reading journey is all about expanding horizons and deepening connections. Last year, I aimed to prioritize books by BIPOC authors, diving into diverse narratives that reflect unique cultural experiences and voices. With a busy schedule, audiobooks continued to be my go-to for staying on track. I made it a point to include more South Asian and BIPOC authors in my fun reads. Seeing my culture reflected in characters’ lives or exploring narratives I hadn’t experienced before brought a sense of connection and joy that was uniquely fulfilling, following stories that delved into the complexities of identity, culture, and belonging. From gripping novels to thought-provoking memoirs, books have become a bridge to understanding the myriad human experiences that shape us.

I started the year off with a South Asian author, and it is only right that I ended the year on the same note! Without even trying, I balanced non-fiction with my fiction books, 1 out of four. While I love my fiction books, I am a lifelong learner and constantly looking for ways to educate and improve myself. For me, the magic lies in the balance. Some days, I crave the comfort of a cozy read. Other days, I’m eager to dive into something thought-provoking and educational. The key is variety. Alternating between genres, topics, and tones keeps my reading life dynamic and fulfilling. Reading for fun brings me joy; reading for education fuels my growth. Together, they create a rich, rewarding experience that goes beyond turning pages. They help me stay curious, connected, and engaged with the world around me. 

Some amazing authors that I happen upon or found on social media (in no particular order) and their genres:

• Sajni Patel - South Asian - Contemporary Romance
• Tiffany Jackson - African American - YA, Thriller, Mystery
• Angeline Boulley - Native American - YA, Thriller, Mystery
• Tracey Deonn - African American - YA, Fantasy
• V. Castro - Mexican American - Horror
• R. F. Kuang - Chinese American - Fantasy
• Nisha Sharma - South Asian - Contemporary Romance, YA
• Claire M. Andrews - White - YA, Fantasy, Greek Mythology Retelling
• Freida McFadden - White - Thriller, Mystery
• Stacey Abrams (Selena Montgomery) - African American - Crime Thrillers

My favorite reads (again, in no particular order)!

Here are some of my reading stats (all metrics through StoryGraph):

As I plan my 2025 reading goals, I’m committed to continuing this balance. I’ll keep discovering books that make me laugh, cry, and think. And I’ll remember that no matter what I pick up next, there’s always something to gain—whether it’s a smile or a new perspective.

I have also chosen not to read/listen to books be Colleen Hoover and Sarah J. Maas. Seeing all the discourse and negativity surrounding Justin Baldoni trying to make a movie about DV and the author/Blake Lively, and the rest of the cast bullying and getting him booted off his passion project that he has been working on for the past 5 years. I've read three of her books and that was enough for me to know she's not my cup of tea. In regards to Sarah J. Maas, I have no desire to read ACOTAR due to her incorporation of Breonna Taylor's murder on the cover release of A Court of Silver Flames, as well as her lackluster inclusion of BIPOC and queer representation in her books. 

How do you approach your reading life? Do you lean toward fun or educational reads, or do you try to mix both like I do? Share your thoughts—I’d love to hear about your favorite books and what they’ve taught you!

Here’s to a new year of growth, discovery, and unforgettable stories!

Until next time...

Sharon

Attending My First Kwanzaa Celebration

This year, I had the privilege of attending my first Kwanzaa celebration. I had heard of Kwanzaa before, but this was my first time experiencing it in a personal, meaningful way. From the moment I walked through the door, I knew this would be a celebration filled with culture, community, and connection.

For those unfamiliar, Kwanzaa is a week-long celebration that honors African heritage and culture. It begins on December 26 and ends on January 1, with each day representing one of the seven principles known as the Nguzo Saba, which serve as a guide to living a life that uplifts and celebrates the strength of the African diaspora. 

The principles:

1. Umoja (Unity)
2. Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)
3. Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility)
4. Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics)
5. Nia (Purpose)
6. Kuumba (Creativity)
7. Imani (Faith)

The atmosphere of the celebration was warm and welcoming. It was a small gathering—just a handful of friends and our children, each bringing their own energy and excitement to the table. The room was beautifully adorned with symbols of Kwanzaa—bright red, black, and green decorations that represented the Pan-African colors. A central Kwanzaa table, covered in a cloth of these colors, held the Kinara, a candle holder with seven candles, each one representing a different principle.

As we gathered around the table, it was clear that this was not just a celebration of the holiday but a reflection on the deeper meaning behind it. The candle lighting ceremony, which is a key part of Kwanzaa, was moving and filled with intention. We lit one candle for each principle, and as we did, one of the children shared the principle was and its meaning.  Attending my first Kwanzaa celebration wasn’t just an event—it was an experience that left me feeling connected to a larger tradition and culture. It reminded me of the power of gathering with others to celebrate life’s blessings and reflect on how we can contribute to a brighter future for ourselves and our communities. As the evening came to a close, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to be part of something so meaningful. Kwanzaa is about more than just the celebration; it’s about fostering a sense of unity, purpose, and creativity in our everyday lives. It’s about remembering the importance of community and recognizing the strength we find in one another.

Lastly, thank you for my girl, Afrisa, for the invitation. Going in, I only knew Afrisa, Kim, and Jasmine, but instantly connected with the other woman there. We enjoyed hours upon hours of good food, laughs, learning, and connection. It's been a long time since I have laughed till it literally hurt. That is one of the best feelings in the world. As a woman, it's hard making friends the older you get, but when it's meant to be, it's one of the easiest things to do. We discussed how we as women tend to forget ourselves in the many roles we hold and the hats we wear. We came up with "More Than Moms", a way for us to put the focus back on us as individuals before life became about filling everyone else's cup while ours stayed empty. So, thank you again Afrisa for allowing me the opportunity to join your circle and feel at home instantly. 

I think this is why having girlfriends is so crucial for having a long and fulfilling life. It is my girlfriends who have taken care of me, loved me, and cheered for me, more than any man has in my life. Having girlfriends, or close female friends, can be incredibly important for personal well-being, emotional support, and overall happiness. These friendships offer unique benefits that contribute to mental, emotional, and even physical health. 

As we left the celebration, I carried with me the spirit of Kwanzaa: a renewed sense of purpose, creativity, and, above all, unity. It was a beautiful experience that I will cherish, and one I hope to carry forward into every year.

Until next time...

Sharon

Weaponized Incompetence: Avoiding Labor, Not Lacking Knowledge

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Thanksgiving is just around the corner—a time for gratitude, togetherness, and, let’s be honest, a whole lot of work. From meal planning to grocery shopping, cleaning, hosting, and entertaining, the holiday often demands an enormous amount of labor, much of which unfairly falls on one person (hint: it’s usually the woman of the house).

But what happens when your partner conveniently claims they “don’t know how to baste a turkey” or “aren’t good at setting the table,” leaving you to pick up the slack while they sit and relax, watching football, or hang with the other men, impatiently waiting until they can eat? That’s a prime example of weaponized incompetence—a behavior where someone feigns inability to avoid responsibility, putting the burden on someone else.

As we prepare for one of the most labor-intensive holidays of the year, let’s talk about how weaponized incompetence creeps into gender dynamics, why it’s especially frustrating during the holidays, and how to address it effectively.

At its core, weaponized incompetence isn’t always about genuine inability; more often, it’s about a lack of desire to do the work. Instead of openly refusing a task, the individual pretends they don’t know how to do it—or makes a half-hearted attempt—or even worst when they flat out ignore the glaring obvious signs because they know someone else will step in to complete it. This behavior is a calculated way to avoid labor while maintaining plausible deniability.

This behavior is not just frustrating—it can perpetuate inequality in relationships and reinforce harmful stereotypes about gender roles.This behavior can manifest in any collaborative setting. Weaponized incompetence often intersects with gender dynamics, particularly in the realms of domestic and emotional labor. In many heterosexual relationships, societal expectations have long assigned women the role of primary caretakers, whether it’s managing household chores, caring for children, or even handling the mental load of remembering birthdays, appointments, and social plans.

The motivation behind weaponized incompetence is avoidance, not lack of inability in completing the tasks. When someone says, “I just can’t do it as well as you,” or “I didn’t know where to start,” they are indicating they don't want to take initiative in learning or putting effort in completing said task(s). This results in the responsibility shifting to someone who actually cares enough to pick up the slack.  They recognize that completing tasks requires effort they’re unwilling to expend. By prioritizing their free time or convenience, they preference resides in their own comfort. Emotional manipulation, such as, "You're better at it," is another problematic tactic that often comes disguised as a compliment. While it may sound flattering, it’s actually a way of excusing their unwillingness to contribute. By framing their avoidance as deference, they sidestep responsibility while appealing to their partner’s sense of competence or pride.

In the long run, weaponized incompetence damages relationships over time, particularly for the person left to pick up the slack often feels overburdened, unappreciated, and resentful. This dynamic also undermines trust and respect, as it reveals a lack of genuine partnership. In many cases, this behavior is rooted in gendered expectations. Traditional roles often assign domestic and emotional labor to women, allowing men to lean on weaponized incompetence to avoid contributing. By pretending not to know or care, they reinforce stereotypes that these tasks are “naturally” women’s work. The person avoiding responsibility may also rely on their partner’s desire to maintain peace, efficiency, or quality.

Breaking free from weaponized incompetence isn’t just good for your partner—it’s good for you, too. It helps you grow as an individual, builds a stronger, more equal partnership, and teaches valuable skills you can carry throughout your life. Show your partner, and yourself, that you’re committed to being an active and capable teammate in your relationship.

While this behavior typically arises in adult relationships, its ripple effects on children can be significant and damaging. Children learn by observing adults. When they witness one parent avoiding responsibilities through weaponized incompetence and the other overcompensating, they may mimic these patterns in their own relationships, perpetuating cycles of inequality or manipulation. If one parent constantly takes on the burden of caregiving and chores due to the other's incompetence, it can lead to an unequal distribution of time and attention. This imbalance might leave children feeling neglected or witnessing parental burnout. Children are sensitive to household dynamics. Watching one parent manipulate the other can cause confusion, anxiety, and even resentment. It may foster feelings of instability or guilt if the child perceives themselves as a source of parental stress. In households where weaponized incompetence aligns with gender norms (e.g., a father avoiding child-rearing tasks), children may internalize stereotypical roles, limiting their understanding of equity and partnership. Children often look to both parents as role models of reliability. If they perceive one parent as shirking responsibility, it may lead to diminished respect and trust in that parent over time.

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A Note To Men: 

Men, it’s time to take an honest look at how weaponized incompetence might be showing up in your relationships. This isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness and growth. Weaponized incompetence often isn’t malicious; it’s a behavior learned from societal norms that have long excused men from household and emotional labor. However, continuing this pattern isn’t fair to your partner or to the health of your relationship.

Here’s why stepping up matters:

• It’s Not About Ability, It’s About Effort: Saying “I’m not good at this” or “You’re better at it” might seem harmless, but it’s often a way to avoid learning or improving. If you can excel in your career or hobbies, you can figure out how to be a partner that values and respects their partner. The time and effort you put into your partner should also match the level of commitment you have for your career and hobbies. Competence is built through effort, not avoidance. 

• Your Partner Deserves a Partner, Not a Supervisor: When you consistently rely on your partner to take on the bulk of responsibilities, you’re placing an unfair mental and emotional load on them. This dynamic turns your partner into a manager and you into a dependent, which erodes trust and mutual respect. When your partner feels more like a "parent" or "manager" in the relationship, —it can also erode emotional connection, respect, and even physical attraction to your partner.

• Shared Labor Strengthens Relationships: Taking on your fair share of responsibilities isn’t just about fairness; it’s about showing your partner that you value their time, energy, and well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual effort and support. When one partner views their contributions as “help,” it can lead to resentment from the other, who feels unsupported and unappreciated. Over time, this dynamic can erode intimacy and create feelings of frustration. 

• Building Connection Before the Bedroom: When it comes to intimacy, foreplay for many women starts long before the physical touch—it begins in the mind and heart. Emotional and mental stimulation are essential components of connection, setting the stage for deeper physical intimacy. Without these elements, the experience can feel mechanical, leaving women unfulfilled and disconnected. In a healthy relationship, sex is a source of connection, pleasure, and intimacy. However, when it starts feeling like a chore—a task to check off a to-do list rather than a shared experience—it can create frustration, resentment, and disconnect.

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Here’s how you can start breaking the cycle:

1. Be Honest with Yourself: Are there tasks you avoid because they seem “too hard,”  you don't care to do them, or because you assume your partner will handle them? Start by acknowledging where you can step up. Often, the person engaging in it may not realize the harm they’re causing, and the person on the receiving end may feel too frustrated to articulate their concerns clearly.

2. Learn and Practice: Don’t wait to be told how to do something. Take initiative to learn—Google is your friend, and so is trial and error. Your first attempt doesn’t have to be perfect; what matters is that you’re trying. This avoids the cycle of one person being the “default” expert while the other opts out or picks and chooses when they want to "help".

3. Own Your Responsibilities: Don’t just “help out” when asked. Take full ownership of specific tasks so your partner doesn’t have to monitor or remind you. It’s essential to view household, emotional, and mental labor as shared responsibilities, not one partner doing the other a favor. Shifting the mindset from “helping” to “sharing” fosters equality.

4. Communicate and Listen: Have open conversations with your partner about what equity looks like in your relationship. Be willing to hear their frustrations without getting defensive or attacking your partner by naming they ways you do "help". Accountability is key to breaking patterns of avoidance.

5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the pattern persists despite efforts to address it, couples therapy can provide a neutral space to unpack the issue and develop healthier dynamics. Often  times men avoids taking responsibility for their emotional growth or mental health by resisting therapy. The refusal to engage in therapy can create an imbalance in emotional labor, leaving their partner to shoulder the burden of managing conflicts, communication, and relational harmony. 

Due to societal expectations of masculinity, men may see going to therapy as a sign of weakness, may find self-reflection and emotional openness intimidating, and may avoid confronting truths or altering ingrained behaviors that may require necessary change. Remember, therapy is a proactive resource for growth. Therapy isn’t just about addressing problems—it’s about building tools for a stronger, healthier relationship. If one partner refuses therapy despite persistent issues, it might be time to evaluate the relationship’s dynamics and status. A refusal to engage in emotional growth can signal deeper incompatibilities that may need professional or personal reflection to resolve.

1. Explore Self-Help Resources: In some cases, therapy may not be an option due to financial burdens.You can start exploring tools that promote self-awareness and emotional growth. Here are a few ways to start your healing journey: (1) read books or listen to podcasts on personal development, (2) journal to process your thoughts and emotions, (3) use mindfulness apps like Calm or Headspace to practice self-regulation.

One of the most challenging and painful situations in a relationship is when one partner refuses to take accountability for their actions or seek the help needed to improve the relationship. It’s a deeply frustrating experience for the other partner, especially when they are invested in making things work.  If one partner refuses to seek help, whether through therapy, self-help resources, or simply trying to make changes, it’s difficult to sustain a healthy dynamic. It may feel like you’re trying to carry the relationship alone. But there are times when the emotional and mental toll becomes too great, and walking away may be the only option left. If the refusal to take accountability is accompanied by verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, and/or physical abuse, this is a serious red flag. In these situations, the relationship is no longer safe, and leaving is often the best—and only—option for your well-being (and for your children, if any are involved).

You can defer to last month's post about Domestic Violence Awareness for further clarification on the different forms of abuse.

Can you identify the ways in which he weaponizes his incompetence against his girlfriend while she is sick and attempting to rest?

 

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Until next time...

Sharon

When Anger Meets Apathy: Reflections on an Unexpected Outcome

It has been a week since the presidential election occurred and I had to take some time to process the results before I made this post. Having gone through all the stages of grief multiple times (except acceptance), I know there are so many others who feel the same way. 

This election feels like it carries so much weight for the future of our country, and I'm feeling a mix of anger, sadness, and fear thinking about what could be ahead. It was about hoping for a path where everyone feels seen, heard, and protected. As a woman of color, and for so many of us in marginalized communities, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and anxious about what this could mean for our rights, safety, and progress. The last few years have shown how quickly gains in equality and justice can be unraveled. One thing is certain: this isn’t just politics; it’s about our lives, our voices, and our communities.

The damage 45 has done to this country through his vitriol/hate/ignorance and policies, as well as the intentional blindness of his supporters is baffling. He is a convicted felon with 34 counts under his belt (for now), a failed business owner, has multiple divorces and children from 3 different women, and tried to pay off a prostitute he was having sex with while his wife was at home with their newborn baby, just to name a few. How anyone can proudly say they want a convicted felon is the highest and most esteemed position in the USA is beyond me. Felons cannot vote, but this clown gets to run a corrupt campaign and "win" the election to become President again? Make it make sense.

He was handed President Obama's thriving economy but tanked it with his tax laws and continued breaks for the wealthy. His policies were in place during the Biden/Harris administration, and they tried their hardest to help the middle class. I didn't always agree with things Biden did during his administration, but at least they tried, which is more than what I can say for MAGA. From Obama to 45, there was a peaceful transition of power. From 45 to Biden, an insurrection led by MAGA cult members occurred on January 6th, 2021, i.e...no peaceful transition of power. Now, with Biden back to 45 in 2025, one can infer that there will be a peaceful transition of power. For the record, if you don't make at least 300K annually, YOU will pay more taxes. Also, tariffs are on imported goods. The USA imports goods from China, meaning WE pay the tariffs. Under 45's increased tariffs plan, importers will tack those tariffs onto the consumer's purchase price to offset their costs. For example, as a business owner who makes custom shirts and my supplies cost $5 and I charge $20 for an item, after increased tariffs, I may be paying $8 to $10 in supplies cost. This means that I as a small business owner have to pay more for my supplies, which in turn increases my customer's (the consumer) purchase price. Before you were paying around $22 for an item with tax; whereas now, you are paying $25 to $30. Not to mention, that's on the low end. Now imagine for bigger purchases like cars and materials to build homes, making house purchasing an ever farther goal for most Americans.

"Last year, the United States imported around $3.1 trillion worth of goods, with Mexico, China and Canada accounting for more than 40 percent of that total. Among the top imported goods are cars, pharmaceuticals and all kinds of technology, be it smartphones, computers or semiconductors. Experts have warned that all of these products would likely become significantly more expensive if president-elect Donald Trump went through with his proposed tariff plans (Richter, 2024)."

What's crazy is that some of the most searched phrases on Google after the election were:

• can I change my vote 
• what is a tariff and who pays it
• will tariffs cause inflation
• things to buy before tariffs
• Project 2025
• deportation and denaturalization and DACA
• will I lose my health insurance
• trumps policies
• moving to Canada
• moving to Mexico

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to do your research on the candidates BEFORE you vote in the election? 

For those who voted third-party or chose not to vote at all, you do not get to complain for the next four years. Your absence at the polls is an act of complicity and no, it does not absolve you of blame. 

Third-party voters, didn't vote at all, and those who voted for 45 are feeling the consequences of their actions within their parasocial relationships. They are being called out, outcasted, and excluded in those relationships and on social media. All I have to say is, I love this for y'all. When you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. What did people think was going to happen? Did y'all think that we would go back to how it was before this election as though a majority of the country didn't vote to strip human rights away from BIPOC, women, the LGBTQIA+ community, the disability community, veterans, and immigrants. You voting for 45 isn't just about politics, it's a conscious decision that you see me as less than you, not deserving of the same protections as you, and that I don't belong here because I am different from you. You voted to maintain white supremacy, imperialism, patriarchy, all the negaive ism's, and the dehumanization of people who don't look like you. I think this video depicts what those of us who didn't vote for he who shall remain nameless.

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Vice President Harris ran a flawless campaign, especially given the timeframe she had with the last-minute dropout from Biden months before election day. This goes to show that an educated and qualified woman will have to work 100X harder and prove she can do a job and still be passed up for a mediocre white man.

The election has come and gone, and with it, I find myself reflecting on the people in my life who see the world through a drastically different lens. This isn’t about holding different opinions but rather facing the stark reality that core beliefs on humanity, justice, and progress don’t always align with those around us.

When the results came in, I felt not only disappointment but a wave of frustration that the values I cherish were met with such a fundamental opposition. It’s one thing to disagree on policy details or strategies; it’s another to see people support someone whose principles feel so antithetical to my own. The realization hit me hard: Not everyone who I once called "friend" sees the world as I do, and that difference feels personal now.

For years, I tried to understand the motivations of those who support a vision of the country so unlike my own. I debated, I listened, I even empathized where I could. But this time, I feel drained. The desire to connect with or understand those who voted for 45 again has faded, replaced by a cold apathy I never expected. Rather than fight, I feel myself withdrawing, emotionally spent from years of trying to bridge a gap that now feels insurmountable.

I know I’m not alone in this. Many of us are waking up to the gap between our values and those held by others in our circle. It leaves us questioning our relationships, our conversations, and what it means to truly know someone. Today, I’m sifting through a mix of anger, disappointment, and, strangely, a new form of acceptance. While I may not be able to bridge every divide, I can choose who I spend my energy with—those who see eye to eye on the issues closest to my heart.

It’s a new kind of distance—choosing to protect my peace over convincing others of my perspective. Apathy feels like a shield, a way of surviving in a landscape where compromise sometimes feels impossible. Maybe it’s not a permanent state, but for now, it’s the only way forward.

One thing is for certain, I am petty as hell and will be "I told you so" ing everything the next administration does, that they said they would do, and now all of a sudden if affects YOU. You chose yourself over the betterment of everyone.. #FAFO

In the words of Cardi B in Bodak Yellow (2017), "If I see you and I don't speak, that means I don't fuck with you..."

My desire is that whatever Vice President Kamala Harris has up her sleeve as a FEDERAL PROSECUTOR brings down 45, his First Lady, Elonia Musk, and all those who aligned themselves with the 45.

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Until next time...

Sharon