Attending My First Kwanzaa Celebration

This year, I had the privilege of attending my first Kwanzaa celebration. I had heard of Kwanzaa before, but this was my first time experiencing it in a personal, meaningful way. From the moment I walked through the door, I knew this would be a celebration filled with culture, community, and connection.

For those unfamiliar, Kwanzaa is a week-long celebration that honors African heritage and culture. It begins on December 26 and ends on January 1, with each day representing one of the seven principles known as the Nguzo Saba, which serve as a guide to living a life that uplifts and celebrates the strength of the African diaspora. 

The principles:

1. Umoja (Unity)
2. Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)
3. Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility)
4. Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics)
5. Nia (Purpose)
6. Kuumba (Creativity)
7. Imani (Faith)

The atmosphere of the celebration was warm and welcoming. It was a small gathering—just a handful of friends and our children, each bringing their own energy and excitement to the table. The room was beautifully adorned with symbols of Kwanzaa—bright red, black, and green decorations that represented the Pan-African colors. A central Kwanzaa table, covered in a cloth of these colors, held the Kinara, a candle holder with seven candles, each one representing a different principle.

As we gathered around the table, it was clear that this was not just a celebration of the holiday but a reflection on the deeper meaning behind it. The candle lighting ceremony, which is a key part of Kwanzaa, was moving and filled with intention. We lit one candle for each principle, and as we did, one of the children shared the principle was and its meaning.  Attending my first Kwanzaa celebration wasn’t just an event—it was an experience that left me feeling connected to a larger tradition and culture. It reminded me of the power of gathering with others to celebrate life’s blessings and reflect on how we can contribute to a brighter future for ourselves and our communities. As the evening came to a close, I couldn’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to be part of something so meaningful. Kwanzaa is about more than just the celebration; it’s about fostering a sense of unity, purpose, and creativity in our everyday lives. It’s about remembering the importance of community and recognizing the strength we find in one another.

Lastly, thank you for my girl, Afrisa, for the invitation. Going in, I only knew Afrisa, Kim, and Jasmine, but instantly connected with the other woman there. We enjoyed hours upon hours of good food, laughs, learning, and connection. It's been a long time since I have laughed till it literally hurt. That is one of the best feelings in the world. As a woman, it's hard making friends the older you get, but when it's meant to be, it's one of the easiest things to do. We discussed how we as women tend to forget ourselves in the many roles we hold and the hats we wear. We came up with "More Than Moms", a way for us to put the focus back on us as individuals before life became about filling everyone else's cup while ours stayed empty. So, thank you again Afrisa for allowing me the opportunity to join your circle and feel at home instantly. 

I think this is why having girlfriends is so crucial for having a long and fulfilling life. It is my girlfriends who have taken care of me, loved me, and cheered for me, more than any man has in my life. Having girlfriends, or close female friends, can be incredibly important for personal well-being, emotional support, and overall happiness. These friendships offer unique benefits that contribute to mental, emotional, and even physical health. 

As we left the celebration, I carried with me the spirit of Kwanzaa: a renewed sense of purpose, creativity, and, above all, unity. It was a beautiful experience that I will cherish, and one I hope to carry forward into every year.

Until next time...

Sharon

Weaponized Incompetence: Avoiding Labor, Not Lacking Knowledge

(CREDIT)

Thanksgiving is just around the corner—a time for gratitude, togetherness, and, let’s be honest, a whole lot of work. From meal planning to grocery shopping, cleaning, hosting, and entertaining, the holiday often demands an enormous amount of labor, much of which unfairly falls on one person (hint: it’s usually the woman of the house).

But what happens when your partner conveniently claims they “don’t know how to baste a turkey” or “aren’t good at setting the table,” leaving you to pick up the slack while they sit and relax, watching football, or hang with the other men, impatiently waiting until they can eat? That’s a prime example of weaponized incompetence—a behavior where someone feigns inability to avoid responsibility, putting the burden on someone else.

As we prepare for one of the most labor-intensive holidays of the year, let’s talk about how weaponized incompetence creeps into gender dynamics, why it’s especially frustrating during the holidays, and how to address it effectively.

At its core, weaponized incompetence isn’t always about genuine inability; more often, it’s about a lack of desire to do the work. Instead of openly refusing a task, the individual pretends they don’t know how to do it—or makes a half-hearted attempt—or even worst when they flat out ignore the glaring obvious signs because they know someone else will step in to complete it. This behavior is a calculated way to avoid labor while maintaining plausible deniability.

This behavior is not just frustrating—it can perpetuate inequality in relationships and reinforce harmful stereotypes about gender roles.This behavior can manifest in any collaborative setting. Weaponized incompetence often intersects with gender dynamics, particularly in the realms of domestic and emotional labor. In many heterosexual relationships, societal expectations have long assigned women the role of primary caretakers, whether it’s managing household chores, caring for children, or even handling the mental load of remembering birthdays, appointments, and social plans.

The motivation behind weaponized incompetence is avoidance, not lack of inability in completing the tasks. When someone says, “I just can’t do it as well as you,” or “I didn’t know where to start,” they are indicating they don't want to take initiative in learning or putting effort in completing said task(s). This results in the responsibility shifting to someone who actually cares enough to pick up the slack.  They recognize that completing tasks requires effort they’re unwilling to expend. By prioritizing their free time or convenience, they preference resides in their own comfort. Emotional manipulation, such as, "You're better at it," is another problematic tactic that often comes disguised as a compliment. While it may sound flattering, it’s actually a way of excusing their unwillingness to contribute. By framing their avoidance as deference, they sidestep responsibility while appealing to their partner’s sense of competence or pride.

In the long run, weaponized incompetence damages relationships over time, particularly for the person left to pick up the slack often feels overburdened, unappreciated, and resentful. This dynamic also undermines trust and respect, as it reveals a lack of genuine partnership. In many cases, this behavior is rooted in gendered expectations. Traditional roles often assign domestic and emotional labor to women, allowing men to lean on weaponized incompetence to avoid contributing. By pretending not to know or care, they reinforce stereotypes that these tasks are “naturally” women’s work. The person avoiding responsibility may also rely on their partner’s desire to maintain peace, efficiency, or quality.

Breaking free from weaponized incompetence isn’t just good for your partner—it’s good for you, too. It helps you grow as an individual, builds a stronger, more equal partnership, and teaches valuable skills you can carry throughout your life. Show your partner, and yourself, that you’re committed to being an active and capable teammate in your relationship.

While this behavior typically arises in adult relationships, its ripple effects on children can be significant and damaging. Children learn by observing adults. When they witness one parent avoiding responsibilities through weaponized incompetence and the other overcompensating, they may mimic these patterns in their own relationships, perpetuating cycles of inequality or manipulation. If one parent constantly takes on the burden of caregiving and chores due to the other's incompetence, it can lead to an unequal distribution of time and attention. This imbalance might leave children feeling neglected or witnessing parental burnout. Children are sensitive to household dynamics. Watching one parent manipulate the other can cause confusion, anxiety, and even resentment. It may foster feelings of instability or guilt if the child perceives themselves as a source of parental stress. In households where weaponized incompetence aligns with gender norms (e.g., a father avoiding child-rearing tasks), children may internalize stereotypical roles, limiting their understanding of equity and partnership. Children often look to both parents as role models of reliability. If they perceive one parent as shirking responsibility, it may lead to diminished respect and trust in that parent over time.

(CREDIT)

A Note To Men: 

Men, it’s time to take an honest look at how weaponized incompetence might be showing up in your relationships. This isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness and growth. Weaponized incompetence often isn’t malicious; it’s a behavior learned from societal norms that have long excused men from household and emotional labor. However, continuing this pattern isn’t fair to your partner or to the health of your relationship.

Here’s why stepping up matters:

• It’s Not About Ability, It’s About Effort: Saying “I’m not good at this” or “You’re better at it” might seem harmless, but it’s often a way to avoid learning or improving. If you can excel in your career or hobbies, you can figure out how to be a partner that values and respects their partner. The time and effort you put into your partner should also match the level of commitment you have for your career and hobbies. Competence is built through effort, not avoidance. 

• Your Partner Deserves a Partner, Not a Supervisor: When you consistently rely on your partner to take on the bulk of responsibilities, you’re placing an unfair mental and emotional load on them. This dynamic turns your partner into a manager and you into a dependent, which erodes trust and mutual respect. When your partner feels more like a "parent" or "manager" in the relationship, —it can also erode emotional connection, respect, and even physical attraction to your partner.

• Shared Labor Strengthens Relationships: Taking on your fair share of responsibilities isn’t just about fairness; it’s about showing your partner that you value their time, energy, and well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual effort and support. When one partner views their contributions as “help,” it can lead to resentment from the other, who feels unsupported and unappreciated. Over time, this dynamic can erode intimacy and create feelings of frustration. 

• Building Connection Before the Bedroom: When it comes to intimacy, foreplay for many women starts long before the physical touch—it begins in the mind and heart. Emotional and mental stimulation are essential components of connection, setting the stage for deeper physical intimacy. Without these elements, the experience can feel mechanical, leaving women unfulfilled and disconnected. In a healthy relationship, sex is a source of connection, pleasure, and intimacy. However, when it starts feeling like a chore—a task to check off a to-do list rather than a shared experience—it can create frustration, resentment, and disconnect.

(CREDIT)

Here’s how you can start breaking the cycle:

1. Be Honest with Yourself: Are there tasks you avoid because they seem “too hard,”  you don't care to do them, or because you assume your partner will handle them? Start by acknowledging where you can step up. Often, the person engaging in it may not realize the harm they’re causing, and the person on the receiving end may feel too frustrated to articulate their concerns clearly.

2. Learn and Practice: Don’t wait to be told how to do something. Take initiative to learn—Google is your friend, and so is trial and error. Your first attempt doesn’t have to be perfect; what matters is that you’re trying. This avoids the cycle of one person being the “default” expert while the other opts out or picks and chooses when they want to "help".

3. Own Your Responsibilities: Don’t just “help out” when asked. Take full ownership of specific tasks so your partner doesn’t have to monitor or remind you. It’s essential to view household, emotional, and mental labor as shared responsibilities, not one partner doing the other a favor. Shifting the mindset from “helping” to “sharing” fosters equality.

4. Communicate and Listen: Have open conversations with your partner about what equity looks like in your relationship. Be willing to hear their frustrations without getting defensive or attacking your partner by naming they ways you do "help". Accountability is key to breaking patterns of avoidance.

5. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If the pattern persists despite efforts to address it, couples therapy can provide a neutral space to unpack the issue and develop healthier dynamics. Often  times men avoids taking responsibility for their emotional growth or mental health by resisting therapy. The refusal to engage in therapy can create an imbalance in emotional labor, leaving their partner to shoulder the burden of managing conflicts, communication, and relational harmony. 

Due to societal expectations of masculinity, men may see going to therapy as a sign of weakness, may find self-reflection and emotional openness intimidating, and may avoid confronting truths or altering ingrained behaviors that may require necessary change. Remember, therapy is a proactive resource for growth. Therapy isn’t just about addressing problems—it’s about building tools for a stronger, healthier relationship. If one partner refuses therapy despite persistent issues, it might be time to evaluate the relationship’s dynamics and status. A refusal to engage in emotional growth can signal deeper incompatibilities that may need professional or personal reflection to resolve.

1. Explore Self-Help Resources: In some cases, therapy may not be an option due to financial burdens.You can start exploring tools that promote self-awareness and emotional growth. Here are a few ways to start your healing journey: (1) read books or listen to podcasts on personal development, (2) journal to process your thoughts and emotions, (3) use mindfulness apps like Calm or Headspace to practice self-regulation.

One of the most challenging and painful situations in a relationship is when one partner refuses to take accountability for their actions or seek the help needed to improve the relationship. It’s a deeply frustrating experience for the other partner, especially when they are invested in making things work.  If one partner refuses to seek help, whether through therapy, self-help resources, or simply trying to make changes, it’s difficult to sustain a healthy dynamic. It may feel like you’re trying to carry the relationship alone. But there are times when the emotional and mental toll becomes too great, and walking away may be the only option left. If the refusal to take accountability is accompanied by verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, and/or physical abuse, this is a serious red flag. In these situations, the relationship is no longer safe, and leaving is often the best—and only—option for your well-being (and for your children, if any are involved).

You can defer to last month's post about Domestic Violence Awareness for further clarification on the different forms of abuse.

Can you identify the ways in which he weaponizes his incompetence against his girlfriend while she is sick and attempting to rest?

 

(CREDIT)

Until next time...

Sharon

When Anger Meets Apathy: Reflections on an Unexpected Outcome

It has been a week since the presidential election occurred and I had to take some time to process the results before I made this post. Having gone through all the stages of grief multiple times (except acceptance), I know there are so many others who feel the same way. 

This election feels like it carries so much weight for the future of our country, and I'm feeling a mix of anger, sadness, and fear thinking about what could be ahead. It was about hoping for a path where everyone feels seen, heard, and protected. As a woman of color, and for so many of us in marginalized communities, it’s hard not to feel vulnerable and anxious about what this could mean for our rights, safety, and progress. The last few years have shown how quickly gains in equality and justice can be unraveled. One thing is certain: this isn’t just politics; it’s about our lives, our voices, and our communities.

The damage 45 has done to this country through his vitriol/hate/ignorance and policies, as well as the intentional blindness of his supporters is baffling. He is a convicted felon with 34 counts under his belt (for now), a failed business owner, has multiple divorces and children from 3 different women, and tried to pay off a prostitute he was having sex with while his wife was at home with their newborn baby, just to name a few. How anyone can proudly say they want a convicted felon is the highest and most esteemed position in the USA is beyond me. Felons cannot vote, but this clown gets to run a corrupt campaign and "win" the election to become President again? Make it make sense.

He was handed President Obama's thriving economy but tanked it with his tax laws and continued breaks for the wealthy. His policies were in place during the Biden/Harris administration, and they tried their hardest to help the middle class. I didn't always agree with things Biden did during his administration, but at least they tried, which is more than what I can say for MAGA. From Obama to 45, there was a peaceful transition of power. From 45 to Biden, an insurrection led by MAGA cult members occurred on January 6th, 2021, i.e...no peaceful transition of power. Now, with Biden back to 45 in 2025, one can infer that there will be a peaceful transition of power. For the record, if you don't make at least 300K annually, YOU will pay more taxes. Also, tariffs are on imported goods. The USA imports goods from China, meaning WE pay the tariffs. Under 45's increased tariffs plan, importers will tack those tariffs onto the consumer's purchase price to offset their costs. For example, as a business owner who makes custom shirts and my supplies cost $5 and I charge $20 for an item, after increased tariffs, I may be paying $8 to $10 in supplies cost. This means that I as a small business owner have to pay more for my supplies, which in turn increases my customer's (the consumer) purchase price. Before you were paying around $22 for an item with tax; whereas now, you are paying $25 to $30. Not to mention, that's on the low end. Now imagine for bigger purchases like cars and materials to build homes, making house purchasing an ever farther goal for most Americans.

"Last year, the United States imported around $3.1 trillion worth of goods, with Mexico, China and Canada accounting for more than 40 percent of that total. Among the top imported goods are cars, pharmaceuticals and all kinds of technology, be it smartphones, computers or semiconductors. Experts have warned that all of these products would likely become significantly more expensive if president-elect Donald Trump went through with his proposed tariff plans (Richter, 2024)."

What's crazy is that some of the most searched phrases on Google after the election were:

• can I change my vote 
• what is a tariff and who pays it
• will tariffs cause inflation
• things to buy before tariffs
• Project 2025
• deportation and denaturalization and DACA
• will I lose my health insurance
• trumps policies
• moving to Canada
• moving to Mexico

(CREDIT)

(CREDIT)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to do your research on the candidates BEFORE you vote in the election? 

For those who voted third-party or chose not to vote at all, you do not get to complain for the next four years. Your absence at the polls is an act of complicity and no, it does not absolve you of blame. 

Third-party voters, didn't vote at all, and those who voted for 45 are feeling the consequences of their actions within their parasocial relationships. They are being called out, outcasted, and excluded in those relationships and on social media. All I have to say is, I love this for y'all. When you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. What did people think was going to happen? Did y'all think that we would go back to how it was before this election as though a majority of the country didn't vote to strip human rights away from BIPOC, women, the LGBTQIA+ community, the disability community, veterans, and immigrants. You voting for 45 isn't just about politics, it's a conscious decision that you see me as less than you, not deserving of the same protections as you, and that I don't belong here because I am different from you. You voted to maintain white supremacy, imperialism, patriarchy, all the negaive ism's, and the dehumanization of people who don't look like you. I think this video depicts what those of us who didn't vote for he who shall remain nameless.

(CREDIT)

Vice President Harris ran a flawless campaign, especially given the timeframe she had with the last-minute dropout from Biden months before election day. This goes to show that an educated and qualified woman will have to work 100X harder and prove she can do a job and still be passed up for a mediocre white man.

The election has come and gone, and with it, I find myself reflecting on the people in my life who see the world through a drastically different lens. This isn’t about holding different opinions but rather facing the stark reality that core beliefs on humanity, justice, and progress don’t always align with those around us.

When the results came in, I felt not only disappointment but a wave of frustration that the values I cherish were met with such a fundamental opposition. It’s one thing to disagree on policy details or strategies; it’s another to see people support someone whose principles feel so antithetical to my own. The realization hit me hard: Not everyone who I once called "friend" sees the world as I do, and that difference feels personal now.

For years, I tried to understand the motivations of those who support a vision of the country so unlike my own. I debated, I listened, I even empathized where I could. But this time, I feel drained. The desire to connect with or understand those who voted for 45 again has faded, replaced by a cold apathy I never expected. Rather than fight, I feel myself withdrawing, emotionally spent from years of trying to bridge a gap that now feels insurmountable.

I know I’m not alone in this. Many of us are waking up to the gap between our values and those held by others in our circle. It leaves us questioning our relationships, our conversations, and what it means to truly know someone. Today, I’m sifting through a mix of anger, disappointment, and, strangely, a new form of acceptance. While I may not be able to bridge every divide, I can choose who I spend my energy with—those who see eye to eye on the issues closest to my heart.

It’s a new kind of distance—choosing to protect my peace over convincing others of my perspective. Apathy feels like a shield, a way of surviving in a landscape where compromise sometimes feels impossible. Maybe it’s not a permanent state, but for now, it’s the only way forward.

One thing is for certain, I am petty as hell and will be "I told you so" ing everything the next administration does, that they said they would do, and now all of a sudden if affects YOU. You chose yourself over the betterment of everyone.. #FAFO

In the words of Cardi B in Bodak Yellow (2017), "If I see you and I don't speak, that means I don't fuck with you..."

My desire is that whatever Vice President Kamala Harris has up her sleeve as a FEDERAL PROSECUTOR brings down 45, his First Lady, Elonia Musk, and all those who aligned themselves with the 45.

(CREDIT)

Until next time...

Sharon

Ear-Shaming: The Stigma Against Audiobooks and Why It’s Time to Listen Up

CREDIT

Today marks my one year anniversary of listening to audiobooks! Listening to audiobooks has been a fantastic solution for me juggling a busy schedule. With work, running a small business, being a mama of 5 kids, and personal commitments, finding time to sit down and read a physical book feels almost impossible. Audiobooks offer a flexible alternative, allowing me to enjoy literature and learn new things without having to carve out dedicated reading time. Audiobooks fit into any part of my day and transform downtime or mundane tasks into opportunities for personal growth, entertainment, and learning. Especially in this day and age where most individuals in the entertainment industry are being  held accountable for the disgust, vile, and deviant behaviors, I would rather use my time to expand my knowledge base rather than listen to music and line the pockets of corrupt people who don't know or care about me.

Modern times call for modern solutions!

Audiobooks have sparked a debate in the literary community, with some arguing they're not “real reading.” But let's set the record straight: listening to audiobooks is absolutely a valid way to consume and appreciate literature. In fact, audiobooks come with unique benefits that can enrich the reading experience, making stories and information accessible in ways that print alone sometimes can't.

BENEFITS:

1. Audiobooks Are Accessible

For many people, traditional reading is challenging. Those with visual impairments, dyslexia, or other conditions may find audiobooks an empowering alternative. They allow these readers to enjoy the beauty of literature without physical limitations. Audiobooks are also a boon for busy people who find it hard to carve out time to sit with a book but can listen while commuting, exercising, or doing chores. For them, audiobooks are a way to fold literature into their daily routines.

2. Listening Is a Legitimate Form of Literary Engagement

Listening engages the brain in ways that are both similar to and distinct from reading words on a page. Audiobooks can enhance comprehension and bring stories to life through performance. Skilled narrators can add layers of nuance to a story, offering vocal inflections, accents, and tone that reflect a character’s personality and emotions. In some cases, this can make the story even more vivid than silent reading. Plus, the human voice has always been a primary medium for storytelling—oral traditions predate written ones by thousands of years!

3. They Expand Genre and Language Exposure

Audiobooks often make trying new genres or exploring books in another language more approachable. A beautifully narrated audiobook can immerse listeners in a genre or language they may have found intimidating in print form. For instance, historical novels with complex prose or nonfiction with dense concepts can feel more digestible with a narrator guiding you through.

4. Audiobooks Foster Connection with the Story

There’s something uniquely intimate about listening to someone tell a story. When you’re listening, the storyteller’s voice is right in your ears, creating a sense of connection. This can be especially powerful with memoirs, where the author often narrates, letting listeners experience their story as though directly from them. It turns a passive experience into a deeply personal one.

5. They Enhance Literacy and Vocabulary

For kids and language learners, audiobooks are incredible tools for literacy development. They reinforce vocabulary, pronunciation, and fluency by letting listeners hear words in context, which can be more effective for comprehension than silent reading alone. Audiobooks also help develop listening skills and attention, which are critical literacy components.

FROM A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE:

Criticism of audiobooks often revolves around questions of engagement, authenticity, and perceived value relative to traditional reading. Here are some of the main critiques:

1. Engagement and Retention: Some argue that reading text promotes deeper cognitive engagement, leading to better retention and comprehension of information. Research varies on this, but some studies suggest that while both formats engage the brain, certain people may retain information better when reading visually rather than through listening.

2. Authenticity of Experience: For purists, audiobooks might seem to dilute the "authentic" reading experience, with some believing that the act of visual reading is inherently more personal or immersive. However, this criticism largely overlooks the unique immersion and expressiveness a skilled narrator can bring to an audiobook.

3. Format Challenges: Unlike print or e-books, navigating audiobooks can be less intuitive, particularly when going back to review specific parts. Flipping through pages to revisit content is easier in physical books, while audiobooks require rewinding or searching for timestamps, which can be cumbersome.

4. Narration Influence: A common critique is that the narrator’s voice, tone, and style can alter the story's impact. A narrator’s interpretation might unintentionally shape the listener’s understanding or emotions, which can feel limiting to those who prefer imagining voices and intonations themselves.

5. Cost: Audiobooks can be more expensive than their print counterparts due to the additional costs of narration and production, which can make them less accessible for some. This financial barrier often brings up issues of equity, as audiobooks can be inaccessible to those who may benefit most from them.

6. Perception as “Cheating”: There’s a lingering stigma around audiobooks, especially in academic or literary circles, where some people still consider them an “easier” or “lesser” way to consume content. Critics sometimes view listening as passive compared to reading, although this stance ignores the unique cognitive skills involved in auditory learning and comprehension.

Many criticisms come down to personal preference and the individual’s relationship with books. For each critique, though, there are many who argue that audiobooks are simply another tool in the reader's toolkit, one that broadens the possibilities for engaging with literature.

FROM AN INTERSECTIONALITY PERSPECTIVE:

Criticisms of audiobooks intersect with issues around accessibility, socioeconomic status, race, and education, making this topic layered and complex. Here’s how intersectionality plays a role in audiobook criticisms:

1. Ableism and Accessibility: Audiobooks are a crucial format for people with disabilities, such as visual impairments, dyslexia, ADHD, and other conditions that make print reading challenging. Criticisms that devalue audiobooks implicitly disregard the fact that for many, audiobooks are a primary or preferred way to access information and stories. By ignoring or downplaying this, audiobook criticism can perpetuate ableist assumptions that privilege one mode of reading over another.

2. Class and Economic Accessibility: Audiobooks can be costly compared to print books, especially because of the production resources involved in narration. Critics who champion physical books exclusively may overlook how many people, particularly those in lower-income brackets or working multiple jobs, use audiobooks to fit reading into busy, multitasking lives. Audiobooks allow people to "read" while commuting, working, or managing other responsibilities—things that might be taken for granted by those with more flexible schedules or fewer obligations.

3. Cultural and Linguistic Biases: Many people from immigrant or multilingual backgrounds have grown up with oral storytelling traditions, where listening, rather than reading, is the primary way stories are shared. Criticism of audiobooks can carry implicit biases that elevate Eurocentric and print-centric forms of literacy. Audiobooks offer an alternative that resonates with cultures for whom oral storytelling is a significant cultural component, making literature more relatable and accessible.

4. Education and Literacy Bias: In educational contexts, audiobooks can be critical for students who struggle with reading comprehension due to language barriers or learning differences. When audiobooks are undervalued, it creates a barrier for people who rely on them to succeed academically. This bias reinforces classist and ableist notions that may imply a single "correct" way to read, discounting the varied needs and learning styles of students from diverse backgrounds.

5. Gender and Care Work: Women, who are statistically more likely to engage in unpaid care work, such as childcare or eldercare, may turn to audiobooks as a flexible way to incorporate reading into their routines. Criticizing audiobooks without recognizing these dynamics can reflect gender biases that undervalue the ways people, particularly women, adapt reading to fit into caregiving and household responsibilities.

6. Geographic and Technological Accessibility: In rural or under-resourced areas, libraries may offer more options for audiobook lending through digital platforms than for print books. Criticizing audiobooks may overlook the importance of this access point for people who may not live near bookstores or fully stocked libraries, especially in marginalized communities.

7. Racial and Linguistic Representation: Audiobook narrators often bring diverse voices to literature, allowing listeners to hear accents, dialects, and language rhythms that reflect their own backgrounds. This representation can be empowering for BIPOC listeners who may feel more connected to stories when narrated by voices from their communities. Criticism of audiobooks can inadvertently silence this representation, undermining the importance of voice and dialect diversity in the literary world.

Recognizing these intersections sheds light on why defending audiobooks as an inclusive medium matters. Audiobook access and acceptance can empower people across ability, socioeconomic status, race, gender, and educational backgrounds, and can be part of a broader movement for a more equitable literary landscape.

IN CONCLUSION:

Whether it's through the page or the speaker, engaging with books and stories is what truly matters. So let's celebrate all forms of reading. If you’re “reading” via audiobook, you’re still reading—and the story, the ideas, and the emotions are just as real. Audiobooks are a fantastic part of the literary world, deserving of respect, appreciation, and, above all, no slander!

If you are interested in supporting and lifting up BIPOC voices, join our FB group!

What are some of your favorite audiobooks and/or narrators?

Until next time...

Sharon

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Understanding, Recognizing, and Supporting

(CREDIT)

October is recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), a time dedicated to raising awareness about domestic violence, supporting survivors, and promoting education to prevent abuse. This month-long initiative aims to shed light on the prevalence of domestic violence and its devastating effects on individuals, families, and communities.

IMPORTANCE:

Domestic violence is a pervasive issue affecting millions of people regardless of age, gender, race, or socioeconomic status. Statistics reveal that:

1. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence.
2. Nearly 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.
3. Domestic violence accounts for approximately 15% of all violent crime.

DVAM serves several critical purposes:

1. Raising Awareness: The month helps educate the public about the signs and effects of domestic violence, dispelling myths and misconceptions that can perpetuate stigma and silence.
2. Supporting Survivors: By highlighting resources available to victims, DVAM encourages individuals to seek help and reminds them that they are not alone in their experiences.
3. Advocating for Change: Awareness efforts can lead to policy changes and increased funding for domestic violence services, providing better support systems for those affected.
4. Encouraging Community Engagement: DVAM invites communities to participate in discussions, events, and initiatives that promote healing and solidarity among survivors and advocates.

GET INVOLVED:

There are many ways individuals and communities can engage during Domestic Violence Awareness Month:

1. Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about domestic violence, its impact, and available resources. Share this information with friends, family, and your social networks.
2. Attend or Organize Events: Participate in or host local events, such as workshops, seminars, and rallies, to raise awareness and support survivors. Many organizations host candlelight vigils, walks, or informational booths throughout the month.
3. Wear Purple: Purple is the official color of DVAM. Wearing purple clothing or accessories symbolizes support for survivors and raises awareness about domestic violence.
4. Support Local Organizations: Contribute to or volunteer with local shelters, hotlines, or advocacy organizations that assist survivors. Donations of time, resources, or funds can make a significant impact.
5. Engage on Social Media: Use social media platforms to share information, personal stories, and resources related to domestic violence. Use hashtags like #DVAM, #DomesticViolenceAwareness, or #EndDomesticViolence to join the conversation.
6. Encourage Open Dialogue: Talk about domestic violence openly with your social circle. Encourage friends and family to discuss the issue, fostering an environment where survivors feel safe to share their experiences.

SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:

Physical abuse is a painful reality that affects millions of people around the world, regardless of age, gender, race, or socioeconomic background. It often takes place behind closed doors, leaving survivors feeling isolated, scared, and misunderstood. By educating ourselves and spreading awareness, we can help dismantle the stigma surrounding abuse and support those who may be suffering in silence. This post aims to shed light on the nature of physical abuse, its impact, and the ways people can find help.

When we hear the phrase “domestic violence,” we tend to focus primarily on physical and sexual abuse while disregarding or not being cognizant of the other forms of abuse.

What is Physical Abuse?

Physical abuse involves the use of force to harm or control someone else. It is one form of domestic violence and can happen in intimate relationships, familial settings, or even in public spaces. Some examples of physical abuse include hitting, slapping, pushing, strangling, or any other physical act intended to inflict pain or injury. Physical abuse doesn’t always involve direct harm to a person; sometimes, it shows up in more indirect but equally damaging ways. One of these behaviors is “punching walls,” which is often dismissed or overlooked as an expression of anger rather than abuse. However, it’s essential to recognize that punching walls or other objects can be a tactic of intimidation and control. This post explores how this form of indirect physical aggression can impact relationships and what steps to take if you or someone you know is experiencing this type of behavior. When someone punches a wall, throws objects, or damages property, they’re demonstrating a form of physical aggression that isn’t aimed directly at another person but still creates a hostile environment. These actions can serve as warnings, intended to convey the potential for direct physical violence if things don’t “go their way.” Often, this behavior leaves the victim feeling intimidated, fearful, and helpless, even though they haven’t been physically touched. In many cases, wall-punching reflects deeper issues within an individual, such as unresolved anger, difficulty managing stress, or a desire to assert dominance in an environment.

What is Sexual Abuse?

Sexual abuse involves any unwanted sexual activity where consent is not freely given or where one party feels threatened or coerced. This abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background, and often involves manipulation, grooming, or intimidation. It may be carried out by a stranger, an acquaintance, or, most tragically, a trusted individual such as a family member or partner. 

Intimate partner sexual abuse (IPSA) refers to sexual violence perpetrated by a current or former intimate partner. This form of abuse can manifest in various ways, including:

1. Coercion or Manipulation: Forcing or manipulating a partner into sexual activities against their will.
2. Physical Force: Using physical violence or threats to engage in sexual acts.
3. Emotional Abuse: Undermining a partner’s autonomy by making them feel guilty, ashamed, or fearful regarding their sexual choices.
4. Sexual Harassment: Unwanted sexual advances or comments, which can occur in both private and public settings.

Sexual abuse includes various forms, from non-consensual touching and exploitation to sexual assault and rape. Abuse may also take place online, where manipulation or coercion occurs through digital interactions.

Other forms of abuse are: emotional, psychological, and financial.

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior where someone uses manipulation, humiliation, or fear to control or dominate another person. Unlike physical abuse, which is typically more visible, emotional abuse chips away at a person’s mental and emotional well-being over time. The abuse might involve criticism, gaslighting, isolation, or threats, all designed to keep the victim feeling inferior, dependent, or unsure of their own reality.

Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be difficult to spot, especially when it’s happening in close relationships. Here are some common signs:

1. Constant Criticism: The person often puts you down, criticizes your choices, or mocks you, making you feel inadequate or worthless.
2. Gaslighting: They may deny things they’ve said or done, twisting the truth to make you doubt your own memories or perceptions.
3. Isolation: They control who you see and where you go, often discouraging you from maintaining outside relationships.
4. Emotional Withholding: They withhold affection, love, or even basic communication to punish or control you.
5. Humiliation: This includes name-calling, shaming, or embarrassing you in private or public settings to make you feel small.
6. Threats and Intimidation: They may threaten to leave, harm you, or do something drastic if you don’t comply with their wishes.
7. Excessive Control: They try to control your actions, appearance, finances, or daily decisions, often masking it as “caring.”

What is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse uses words to insult, belittle, or intimidate someone. Often, it’s disguised as “joking” or “constructive criticism,” but its real aim is to undermine, hurt, or control the other person. Verbal abuse may happen in romantic relationships, friendships, families, and workplaces, and is often used alongside other forms of abuse.

Common Forms of Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse can take many forms, and abusers may use different tactics to keep their victims feeling trapped and controlled. Here are some common types:

1. Insults and Name-Calling
2. The abuser may use derogatory names, offensive labels, or hurtful comparisons to make the victim feel inferior. This tactic directly attacks the person’s self-esteem.
3. Criticism and Belittling
4. Constantly criticizing, mocking, or diminishing the person’s achievements, ideas, or appearance makes them feel inadequate and insecure.
5. Threats and Intimidation
6. The abuser might use threats, such as threatening to leave, hurt, or ruin the person’s reputation to instill fear and compliance.
7. Gaslighting
8. The abuser may deny events, twist words, or claim the victim is “overreacting” to make them doubt their own perception and sanity, leading them to rely on the abuser’s perspective.
9. Blaming and Shaming
10. The abuser blames the victim for things that aren’t their fault, creating guilt and shame. They may accuse the victim of being “too sensitive” or “dramatic” if they react to the abuse.
11. Trivializing
12. The abuser dismisses or minimizes the victim’s thoughts, feelings, or experiences, making them feel that their emotions and opinions are unimportant or exaggerated.
13. Withholding and Silent Treatment
14. Refusing to engage in conversations or intentionally ignoring the victim can be a form of control, leaving them feeling isolated and desperate for validation.
15. Sarcasm and “Jokes”
16. The abuser may use sarcasm or hurtful “jokes” under the guise of humor, often with the intent of belittling the victim. When confronted, they may claim the victim “can’t take a joke.”

What is Psychological Abuse?

Psychological abuse involves using fear, isolation, guilt, and intimidation to control another person. It can happen in any relationship—romantic, familial, friendships, or even workplaces. The abuser might use tactics like constant criticism, manipulation, isolation, or gaslighting to break down the other person’s self-esteem and sense of autonomy. Often, psychological abuse is subtle and occurs over time, making it harder to recognize than physical abuse.

Common Tactics Used in Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse can take many forms, but here are some of the common tactics an abuser might use:

1. Gaslighting: This is one of the most recognizable forms of psychological abuse, where the abuser manipulates someone into doubting their own memory, perception, or sanity.
2. Silent Treatment: The abuser ignores or withdraws from the person to punish or control them, leaving them feeling isolated and helpless.
3. Constant Criticism: The abuser may pick apart everything the person does, from their appearance to their decisions, making them feel inadequate.
4. Undermining: They may question or dismiss the person’s goals, abilities, or feelings, subtly discouraging them from pursuing their interests or trusting their instincts.
5. Control and Isolation: The abuser restricts access to friends, family, or activities, creating dependency and preventing external support.
6. Blaming and Shifting Responsibility: They refuse to take responsibility for their actions, blaming the other person for anything that goes wrong and making them feel responsible for the abuser’s behavior.
7. Public or Private Humiliation: Embarrassing or shaming the person in front of others, or criticizing them in private, to erode their confidence.

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse involves controlling someone’s money, resources, or economic decisions to maintain power and control over them. Unlike physical abuse, financial abuse doesn’t leave visible scars, but it can be deeply damaging, affecting a person’s autonomy, confidence, and ability to leave abusive situations. Tactics of financial abuse vary widely, from outright theft and manipulation to more subtle, controlling behaviors.

Common Tactics Used in Financial Abuse

Financial abuse can take many forms, and abusers may use one or several of these tactics to exert control:

1. Restricting Access to Money: The abuser may withhold money, refuse to allow access to joint accounts, or provide only a small “allowance” for basic needs.
2. Sabotaging Employment: The abuser might prevent the person from working, interfere with their job, or sabotage opportunities (e.g., not allowing them to attend interviews).
3. Stealing or Manipulating Finances: The abuser may take money, open credit cards in the victim’s name, or take out loans without their knowledge or consent.
4. Controlling Financial Decisions: The abuser might make all financial decisions, limiting the person’s input or forbidding them from making purchases without permission.
5. Creating Dependency: By limiting access to financial resources, the abuser makes it challenging for the victim to leave the relationship or become independent.
6. Using Debt as Control: They may put debt in the person’s name or force them to co-sign loans, leaving the person responsible for large amounts of debt.
7. Refusing to Contribute Financially: In some cases, the abuser may refuse to work or contribute financially, forcing the person to bear all financial burdens, even when they can’t afford it.

WHEEL OF POWER AND CONTROL:

The Wheel of Power and Control is a model developed in the 1980s by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota, to help people understand the various tactics used by abusers to exert control over their partners. Often referred to as the "Duluth Model," this tool breaks down the dynamics of abusive relationships, showing that abuse is more than physical violence; it includes a range of behaviors aimed at maintaining power over the victim.

Understanding the Wheel of Power and Control

The wheel is divided into segments, each representing different tactics an abuser may use to dominate their partner. Physical and sexual violence form the outer rim of the wheel, often used to reinforce the other forms of control inside the wheel. Here’s a breakdown of the different sections:

CREDIT

DARVO:

DARVO is an acronym describing a manipulative response pattern often used by people who are confronted with their abusive behavior. The term, coined by Dr. Jennifer Freyd, stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. DARVO is particularly common in abusive relationships but can also appear in various other contexts, such as family dynamics, workplaces, or friendships.

The goal of DARVO is to shift blame, deflect responsibility, and create confusion, leaving the victim feeling uncertain about their experience and, at times, even questioning their own role. This manipulative strategy can prevent the victim from holding the abuser accountable and reinforce a cycle of abuse.

Breaking Down DARVO

1. Deny
2. The first step involves the abuser outright denying any wrongdoing. They may say, "I never did that," "You're imagining things," or "That's not what happened." This denial can be an attempt to make the victim doubt their own perception of events, eroding their confidence and sense of reality.
3. Attack
4. Next, the abuser goes on the offensive, attacking the victim’s character, credibility, or intentions. They might call the victim "too sensitive," accuse them of "overreacting," or imply that they are "making a big deal out of nothing." This attack is meant to deflect from the abuser's actions and to intimidate or discredit the victim.
5. Reverse Victim and Offender
6. Finally, the abuser positions themselves as the real victim and paints the victim as the offender. They may accuse the victim of unfairly blaming or "attacking" them, claiming things like, "You’re the one hurting me" or "I can't believe you're accusing me of this." By reversing roles, the abuser attempts to elicit sympathy and make the victim feel guilty for speaking up.

Examples of DARVO in Action

1. In Relationships: A partner who has been unfaithful might deny cheating, then accuse their partner of being "controlling" or "paranoid" for bringing it up. They might even claim that their partner’s questions are damaging the relationship, making the partner feel at fault for their concern.
2. In Workplaces: An employee reporting harassment may hear their harasser deny the allegations, then attack them by questioning their professionalism or loyalty. The harasser may also claim they feel "victimized" by the accusations, attempting to flip the narrative and place the blame on the reporting employee.
3. In Family Dynamics: A parent or sibling confronted about toxic behavior might deny any wrongdoing, then label the person confronting them as "disrespectful." They may go on to insist that they are the ones being treated unfairly, making the victim question whether they were wrong to bring up the issue.

Remember, DARVO is a tactic used to control and disempower, and knowledge about it is a tool to reclaim your voice and power.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month serves as a vital reminder of the importance of recognizing, addressing, and preventing domestic violence. By raising awareness, providing support, and promoting education, we can work towards a future free from violence and empower survivors to reclaim their lives. It’s essential to foster a culture of understanding and support, ensuring that all individuals can feel safe and respected in their relationships.

If you or someone you know is experiencing the various forms of domestic abuse, please know that support is available and healing is within reach. By standing together, we can help end the cycle of abuse and build a safer world for everyone.

RESOURCES:

Here are some valuable resources for domestic abuse survivors, offering support, shelter, counseling, and advocacy:

National Resources

1. National Domestic Violence Hotline
2. Website: thehotline.org
3. Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788
4. Provides 24/7 support, information, and resources for individuals experiencing domestic violence. Offers a confidential and safe environment to discuss options.
5. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
6. Website: rainn.org
7. Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
8. Offers support for survivors of sexual violence, including a national sexual assault hotline and resources for recovery and advocacy.
9. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)
10. Website: ncadv.org
11. Focuses on education, advocacy, and providing resources to end domestic violence. Offers information on local services and national campaigns.
12. The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV)
13. Website: nrcdv.org
14. Provides resources, training, and support to individuals and organizations working to end domestic violence.
15. Women’s Law
16. Website: womenslaw.org
17. Offers legal information and resources for survivors, including state-specific resources and help navigating the legal system.
18. Love is Respect: Text “LOVEIS” to 22522
19. Mental Health America (MHA):
20. Website: mhanational.org
21. Phone: 1-800-969-6642
22. A community-based nonprofit dedicated to addressing the needs of those living with mental health conditions and promoting overall mental health.

Local Resources

1. Local Domestic Violence Shelters and Services
2. Many communities have shelters and support services for survivors. Use the National Domestic Violence Hotline or NCADV websites to find local organizations that offer shelter, counseling, and legal assistance.
3. State-specific Resources
4. Each state may have domestic violence coalitions or organizations that provide tailored support. Check the state resource directory on the NCADV website for localized support.

Additional Support Services

1. Therapists and Counselors Specializing in Abuse
2. Consider seeking therapy from professionals experienced in trauma and domestic violence. Websites like Psychology Today provide directories for therapists by location and specialization.
3. Support Groups
4. Many local organizations and online platforms offer support groups for survivors. These provide a safe space to share experiences and connect with others who have faced similar challenges.
5. Legal Aid Services
6. Organizations such as Legal Aid or LGBTQ+ Legal Advocacy Organizations offer legal advice and representation for survivors navigating custody, divorce, and protective orders.

Resources for Specific Populations

1. The Hotline for LGBTQ+ Survivors
2. Phone: 1-866-488-7386
3. Offers support tailored to LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing domestic violence, providing resources and community connections.
4. Children and Youth Resources
5. Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
6. Supports children affected by abuse and provides resources for parents.
7. Culturally Specific Resources
8. Various organizations cater to specific communities, such as Asian/Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence or Black Women’s Blueprint, offering culturally relevant support and resources.

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

Here are some book recommendations that can help individuals navigate abusive relationships, understand the dynamics of abuse, and empower them to seek change or healing:

For Survivors of Abuse

1. "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft - This book offers insights into the psychology of abusive men, helping survivors understand the patterns of abuse and the mindset of their partners.
2. "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why" by Joan Torres and Susan Forward - Torres and Forward draw on case histories and the voices of men and women trapped in these negative relationships to help you understand your man's destructive pattern and the part you play in it.
3. "The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond" by Patricia Evans - Evans outlines the dynamics of verbal abuse and provides strategies for recognizing and addressing it, offering practical advice for survivors.
4. "Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence: A Workbook for Women" by Mary M. L. L. Long and Kathleen A. Holt - This workbook provides tools and exercises to help survivors process their experiences and work towards healing.
5. "It’s Not You, It’s What Happened to You: Confronting Trauma in Your Life" by Christine C. Courtois - This book explores the impact of trauma on relationships and offers insights into healing and recovery.
6. "Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping for Your Love to Change" by Robin Norwood - Norwood examines the patterns of women who find themselves in unhealthy relationships, providing insights and strategies for breaking the cycle.
7. "The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence" by Gavin de Becker - While not exclusively about abusive relationships, this book teaches readers to trust their instincts and recognize danger, empowering them to take action.
8. "Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence" by Pia Mellody - This workbook helps individuals understand codependency and abusive patterns, providing strategies for recovery and building healthy relationships.

For Understanding Relationship Dynamics

1. "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk - This book explores how trauma affects the body and mind, providing insights into healing and recovery from traumatic experiences, including those from abusive relationships.
2. "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller -Understanding attachment styles can help individuals recognize unhealthy patterns in their relationships and make more informed choices about their partners.
3. "In She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders" by Jennifer Finney Boylan - Although primarily a memoir, Boylan's exploration of identity and relationships provides insights into the complexities of human connections, including issues of abuse and acceptance.

For Abusers Seeking Change

1. "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover - This book addresses unhealthy relationship dynamics and encourages men to take responsibility for their actions, promoting personal growth and healthier interactions.
2. "The Abuser's Playbook: A Guide to Understanding and Changing Abusive Behavior" by Peter D. Gaffney - Aimed at individuals seeking to understand and change their abusive behaviors, this book offers insights and practical strategies for growth.

Until next time...

Sharon

The Trouble with the Big Bang Theory: A Look at the Controversial Aspects

(CREDIT)

Highly recommended to me, I finally broke down and watched The Big Bang Theory. I have to say that while it was funny and had its memorable moments, it was overall cringe-worthy. If I had started the show when it originally aired back in 2007, I would have conformed with the masses and loved the show. Now, watching the show through a more critical lens, it was easier to pick out the xenophobic, anti-Semitic, Hinduphobic, homophobic, sexist, misogynistic, and patriarchal rhetoric throughout the series. It got old really quickly.

As a South Asian immigrant watching the show, my perspective will focus on Kunal Nayyar's portrayal of Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali. For those who haven't watched the show, Raj is an Astrophysicist working at Caltech, along with Howard, Leonard, and Sheldon. He comes from an affluent family in India and has lived a very sheltered life. For the majority of the series, Raj's dad paid for everything, even though Raj was more than capable of making his own way. Raj explained that he was accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle...essentially a spoiled and entitled brat. 

Firstly, the thing that stood out almost immediately was the mocking of Raj's thick, Indian accent in almost every episode. This was primarily done by Howard, Raj's "best friend," though almost every character took their turn.

Secondly, along with making fun of his accent, let's not forget the constant Hinduphobic "jokes" about Raj's religion and Raj's affinity to eating beef, which isn't necessarily forbidden; however, cows are considered sacred and a holy manifestation of the divinity. While vegetarianism is the recommended diet, many Hindus eat fish and other meat except beef. Not that Raj was any better with his constant anti-Semitic jokes directed at Howard. For the sake of this post, all the characters are toxic and ignorant.

Thirdly, when the group got together for meals, it was always Raj sitting on a pillow on the ground, Indian style, while all the non-melanated people sat on the couch and chairs. I can only recall two instances where Leonard and Howard sat on the floor. In Season 2, Raj begins dating an Indian girl, Anu, and had to verbally request that she not have to sit on the floor. Sheldon tells Bernadette and Howard to sit on the floor, then Penny offers to. Then Raj requests Leonard sit on the floor as well because he wants to sit next to Anu. Other than Howard making a comment about Raj breaking up with Anu, none of his friends wanted to accommodate his simple request. They did this instead, leaving two chairs for Raj and Anu.

Fourthly, the constant racist jokes about India being a third world country, being overpopulated, and all the beggars on the streets, as if India wasn't made a third world country by the British when they colonized and depleted our resources.

Again, the show had its moments, but all in all, I was disappointed. I would give the show a C+ rating, and that's me being generous.

Let me know your thoughts on the show...

XOXO,

Sharon